There's only yes
Only tonight
We must let go
To know what's right
No other course
No other way
No day but today
I can't control
(Control your temper)
My destiny
(She doesn't see)
I trust my soul
(Who says that there is a soul)
My only goal is just to be
(Just let me be)
There's only now
There's only here
Give in to love or live in fear
No other path
No other way
No day but today
Friday, May 23, 2008
Monday, May 19, 2008
Caramel Macchiato
"I love caramel macchiato. I love to suck off the caramel on top of the foam right after they give me the drink."
"Is it really that good." A wonders.
"It is. I love caramel." D put the mug down and looked at A.
"well... I am not caramel macchiato. Stop looking at me."
"Is it really that good." A wonders.
"It is. I love caramel." D put the mug down and looked at A.
"well... I am not caramel macchiato. Stop looking at me."
Sunday, May 18, 2008
The Bedroom in my dream
When I am lying on the bed, half asleep and half awake, I will feel like I am still in that bedroom, the bedroom that no longer exists in the way I remember it.
To my right, you could see a weird storage place piled with some of his clothes, if the view were not blocked by him. In summer you could even hear the air-conditioner buzzing annoyingly from the left side. Above my head, there hung two picture frames with 6 pictures of us. They are my gift to him on one of his birthdays.
When I sat up, I could see a French window well hidden behind the curtains, letting in some morning light. An end table was placed close to my feet, with my notebook computer and an ostrich egg lamp on it, along with several other chargers all tangled up. Behind the end table there was a laundry basket, full of his clothes, burying an electric mosquito racket.
On the right side of the room against the wall, there were two wooden shelves and a metal shelf. We put our things on and around the shelves. Above the shelves, there was a picture of colorful flowers. At the corner between the French window and the metal shelf, there was a big picture-frame screen, with photos of our wonderful and memorable trips. It is a gift to me on one of my birthdays.
When I got out of the bed and stood up, I could feel a carper underneath my feet. He bought it to keep our feet from the cold floor in winter.
And then I walked towards the bedroom door for the last time, and closed the door behind me. When I open the bedroom door again, the room is not there any more. He is not there any more.
To my right, you could see a weird storage place piled with some of his clothes, if the view were not blocked by him. In summer you could even hear the air-conditioner buzzing annoyingly from the left side. Above my head, there hung two picture frames with 6 pictures of us. They are my gift to him on one of his birthdays.
When I sat up, I could see a French window well hidden behind the curtains, letting in some morning light. An end table was placed close to my feet, with my notebook computer and an ostrich egg lamp on it, along with several other chargers all tangled up. Behind the end table there was a laundry basket, full of his clothes, burying an electric mosquito racket.
On the right side of the room against the wall, there were two wooden shelves and a metal shelf. We put our things on and around the shelves. Above the shelves, there was a picture of colorful flowers. At the corner between the French window and the metal shelf, there was a big picture-frame screen, with photos of our wonderful and memorable trips. It is a gift to me on one of my birthdays.
When I got out of the bed and stood up, I could feel a carper underneath my feet. He bought it to keep our feet from the cold floor in winter.
And then I walked towards the bedroom door for the last time, and closed the door behind me. When I open the bedroom door again, the room is not there any more. He is not there any more.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Key Moment
Walking upstairs, A fumbled in his left pocket for something, without a word, without a gesture to D.
D would just walk silently ahead, trying to get to the fifth floor as quickly as possible and at the same time requesting A to follow up as closely as possible.
After reaching the fifth floor, D just stood there without doing anything, apparently waiting for something to happen, waiting for the door to open, and waiting to get into the apartment.
A took out a chain of keys from his pocket with ease and, without a word, quickly put the right key into the keyhole on the outer door, and then another key into the keyhole on the inner door. Within a few seconds, they were both inside the apartment, a place that stores countless and countless of wonderful memories for A and D.
A really hates to leave this warm and lovely location.
D would just walk silently ahead, trying to get to the fifth floor as quickly as possible and at the same time requesting A to follow up as closely as possible.
After reaching the fifth floor, D just stood there without doing anything, apparently waiting for something to happen, waiting for the door to open, and waiting to get into the apartment.
A took out a chain of keys from his pocket with ease and, without a word, quickly put the right key into the keyhole on the outer door, and then another key into the keyhole on the inner door. Within a few seconds, they were both inside the apartment, a place that stores countless and countless of wonderful memories for A and D.
A really hates to leave this warm and lovely location.
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
OVER
It's over. After one month, I suddenly realized that it is really over. There is no hope in making amends of any sort. When one person made the decision, the other had to follow, without any veto rights, without any say in this decision.
Monday, May 5, 2008
Story Five
"What time is it?"
"It is almost 11:30," A looked at his watch while enjoying the breeze that had left some invisible dimples on the pool in his university.
"I really like the printer that I bought today...well even though they haven't sent it to me yet."
"It is late now. Do you still want to catch the last MRT back?"
"It's okay. We can sit here as long as you want," D sat back, glancing far beyond the dark pool, surrounded by the remorseful willows.
"Now you've got a printer and ADSL. Life will be good."
"Surely it will. I am so happy that I will be able to use the Internet at home. I don't need to go an Internet cafe."
A enjoyed the moment of sitting here with this stranger that he just met a week beforehand.
"It is almost 11:30," A looked at his watch while enjoying the breeze that had left some invisible dimples on the pool in his university.
"I really like the printer that I bought today...well even though they haven't sent it to me yet."
"It is late now. Do you still want to catch the last MRT back?"
"It's okay. We can sit here as long as you want," D sat back, glancing far beyond the dark pool, surrounded by the remorseful willows.
"Now you've got a printer and ADSL. Life will be good."
"Surely it will. I am so happy that I will be able to use the Internet at home. I don't need to go an Internet cafe."
A enjoyed the moment of sitting here with this stranger that he just met a week beforehand.
Sunday, May 4, 2008
Switch
I groped for the switch in the bathroom, but couldn't find it. Oh it's not on the wall inside, but outside. I forgot again.
I wish my emotions could be like a switch. I could just turn it on and off whenever I want. And there is not just one switch, but many of them, each one in charge of a specific emotion or mental feeling. When I love, I turn the LOVE one on; when I don't want to love, I turn the LOVE one off.
It is, however, not that simple. Emotions are like rivers. They keep running and running, sometimes fast and sometime slow; sometimes flooding and sometimes drying up. They will remain there, but they may have different amount of water, or take a different route after hundreds of years.
I wish my emotions could be like a switch. I could just turn it on and off whenever I want. And there is not just one switch, but many of them, each one in charge of a specific emotion or mental feeling. When I love, I turn the LOVE one on; when I don't want to love, I turn the LOVE one off.
It is, however, not that simple. Emotions are like rivers. They keep running and running, sometimes fast and sometime slow; sometimes flooding and sometimes drying up. They will remain there, but they may have different amount of water, or take a different route after hundreds of years.
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Story Four
"What do you want for dinner?"
"I don't know," said A, while tightening the screws for the top of the computer desk.
"Well, pick a place. Then we will go there," said D.
"Do you wanna try Witch House?" said A.
"Sure. We can go there."
"I am starving already. It's almost 7 and we haven't even finished assembling the desk."
"We can go eat first if you want."
"No, we finish this first. It'll be very quick."
"Thank you so much for doing this for me. I would not be able to figure this out by myself."
"No problem."
"I don't know," said A, while tightening the screws for the top of the computer desk.
"Well, pick a place. Then we will go there," said D.
"Do you wanna try Witch House?" said A.
"Sure. We can go there."
"I am starving already. It's almost 7 and we haven't even finished assembling the desk."
"We can go eat first if you want."
"No, we finish this first. It'll be very quick."
"Thank you so much for doing this for me. I would not be able to figure this out by myself."
"No problem."
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Story Three
"I cut my fingers."
"Let me see."
"Can we find some other ways? I told you not to climb over here. Now we can't go anywhere. And these long grasses are cutting my fingers"
D wiped A's bleeding fingers with his shirt, leaving stains of blood on the shirt the he had brought from his hometown.
"Why do you wipe it on your shirt? How are you going to clean it? It's difficult to get rid of blood stain."
"Well, I am good at doing laundry. You'll see."
"I hope we can get out of this place and I am really thirsty."
So after they finally made their way out of the mountainous area off-limits to the public, they had the most expensive hot chocolate of their life. Of course that store is not open any more. I just passed by that house 2 weeks ago.
Another Song Ringing in My Head Lately
DEJA VU
Baby seems like everywhere I go
I see you, from your eyes, your smile
It's like I breathe you, helplessy I reminisce
Don't want to compare nobody to you
Boy, I try to catch myself
But I'm out of control
Your sexiness is so appealing
I can't let it go
Oh
Know that I can't get over you
'Cause everything I see is you
And I don't want no substitute
Baby I swear it's Deja Vu
Know that I can't get over you
'Cause everything I see is you
And I don't want no substitute
Baby I swear it's Deja Vu
Seeing things that I know can't be
Am I dreaming? When I saw you walking past me
Almost called your name
Got a better glimpse and then I looked away
It's like I'm losing it
Baby I can't go anywhere
Without thinking that you're there
Seems like you're everywhere, it's true
Gotta be having Deja Vu
'Cause in my mind I want you here
Get on the next plane, I don't care
Is it because I'm missing you
That I'm having Deja Vu
Baby seems like everywhere I go
I see you, from your eyes, your smile
It's like I breathe you, helplessy I reminisce
Don't want to compare nobody to you
Boy, I try to catch myself
But I'm out of control
Your sexiness is so appealing
I can't let it go
Oh
Know that I can't get over you
'Cause everything I see is you
And I don't want no substitute
Baby I swear it's Deja Vu
Know that I can't get over you
'Cause everything I see is you
And I don't want no substitute
Baby I swear it's Deja Vu
Seeing things that I know can't be
Am I dreaming? When I saw you walking past me
Almost called your name
Got a better glimpse and then I looked away
It's like I'm losing it
Baby I can't go anywhere
Without thinking that you're there
Seems like you're everywhere, it's true
Gotta be having Deja Vu
'Cause in my mind I want you here
Get on the next plane, I don't care
Is it because I'm missing you
That I'm having Deja Vu
Sunday, April 27, 2008
shopping manic
Two or three days after I bought two tanktops and two shorts, I bought another tanktop in Ximen. I've been wanting this tanktop for a long time and I finally got it, but it cost twice the price more than where it's originally from.
This afternoon while I was trolling in Shiling Night Market, I saw a nice Puma shirt. I tried it on and felt that I liked it, so I bought it. It is size medium and it fits my body perfectly. I hope it won't shrink from washing.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
I am singing in my head all day
Come What May
Never knew I could feel like this
Like I've never seen the sky before
Want to vanish inside your kiss
Every day I love you more and more
Listen to my heart, can you hear it sing?
Telling me to give you everything
Seasons may change, winter to spring
But I love you until the end of time
Come what may
Come what may
I will love you until my dying day
Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place
Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace
Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste
It all revolves around you
And there's no mountain too high
No river too wide
Sing out this song and I'll be there by your side
Storm clouds may gather,
And stars may collide
But I love you (I love you)
Until the end of time(until the end of time)
Come what may
Come what may
I will love you until my dying day
Oh, come what may, come what may
I will love you, Oh I will love you
Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place
Come what may
Come what may
I will love you until my dying day
Never knew I could feel like this
Like I've never seen the sky before
Want to vanish inside your kiss
Every day I love you more and more
Listen to my heart, can you hear it sing?
Telling me to give you everything
Seasons may change, winter to spring
But I love you until the end of time
Come what may
Come what may
I will love you until my dying day
Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place
Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace
Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste
It all revolves around you
And there's no mountain too high
No river too wide
Sing out this song and I'll be there by your side
Storm clouds may gather,
And stars may collide
But I love you (I love you)
Until the end of time(until the end of time)
Come what may
Come what may
I will love you until my dying day
Oh, come what may, come what may
I will love you, Oh I will love you
Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place
Come what may
Come what may
I will love you until my dying day
Amour Eternel
Love never dies.
It is always there, persistent, ongoing, existing, and
Irritating if it decides to play hide and seek with you.
It has conquered you for so long, leaving many vivid stories to tell and remember.
Et les histoires sont toujours ecrites par des conquerants.
Je suis conquis aussi par l'amour,
Love that I am reluctant to let go.
L'amour qui m'a attrape depuis toujours,
Depuis le jour quand tu as apparu sur l'escalier a Metro Gongguan.
Depuis le jour quand on est rentre de la montagne sur le cote nordest de Taiwan.
Depuis le jour quand on a ete d'accord que le francais etait la langue d'amour,
L'anglais aussi.
Le chinois aussi.
Toi aussi.
Moi aussi.
Tant que tu parles,
L'amour est partout.
It is always there, persistent, ongoing, existing, and
Irritating if it decides to play hide and seek with you.
It has conquered you for so long, leaving many vivid stories to tell and remember.
Et les histoires sont toujours ecrites par des conquerants.
Je suis conquis aussi par l'amour,
Love that I am reluctant to let go.
L'amour qui m'a attrape depuis toujours,
Depuis le jour quand tu as apparu sur l'escalier a Metro Gongguan.
Depuis le jour quand on est rentre de la montagne sur le cote nordest de Taiwan.
Depuis le jour quand on a ete d'accord que le francais etait la langue d'amour,
L'anglais aussi.
Le chinois aussi.
Toi aussi.
Moi aussi.
Tant que tu parles,
L'amour est partout.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Sound of Television
I don't know why I like to turn on the TV even when there is absolutely nothing I want to watch. Probably I like to listen to the sound of TV. Probably the sound of TV comforts me. Probably it is too quiet in this room, and I need something to make this room more alive, to make this room more familiar, making it at least sound like the room I am used to, the room I can no longer stay whenever I want to. Even though the sound of TV can be as reminiscent as possible, there is still something missing, something that always makes up a duet with the competing sound of television. That something sometimes sounds like "Ah...the great outdoor," "Justice has come," or "Taste my sting!"
That something was a little annoying when I was in that room, but now it is something I miss and want in the room. I miss the place where I sat on the blue couch and typed on my compuer on the small table, where I watched TV while doing other things, and where I could just sit and enjoy the shared moments of being accompanied, being together, and being us.
That something was a little annoying when I was in that room, but now it is something I miss and want in the room. I miss the place where I sat on the blue couch and typed on my compuer on the small table, where I watched TV while doing other things, and where I could just sit and enjoy the shared moments of being accompanied, being together, and being us.
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