Introspection

Usually what we look for in a lover is, in terms of attitude towards a relationship, a standard far more restricting than what's applying on ourselves.

For example, if you are a man that, say, has one night stands, you will probably want someone that does not have one night stands. If you go to bars very often, you will want someone that does not go to bars. You know what kind of fun can be had if your potential lover also does the same thing so you feel insecure if the potential lover share the same sort of habits(in terms of relationship) with you.

Then you only allow yourself to have that sort of fun, telling yourself you know what yourself is doing and will definitely not cross the line, while at the same time suspecting the potential lover's intentions of doing exactly the same thing as you.

Well, it's much more fair to demand a lover with standars that you impose on yourself. Or even better, be less demanding towards your lover than on yourself. However, it's difficult to be less demanding towards others than yourself. It's already good enough if you can use the same standards for both of you.

What if you are a man that does NOT sleep around, and only wants a lifetime partner? What should you expect of a potential lover? Will treating him with the same standards be demanding? Not at all.