The Winner Takes It All

Well, I have to say something about the musical of the year, "Mamma Mia!" The music is good, the story is entertaining, and the actors (some) are hot.

I know the stage musical has been out for years, but I still have to say that the producer and playwright of this musical were really good at threading Abba's songs into a show. You will feel that those songs are originally made for this musical.

I never thought Meryl Streep to be such a good singer. Can you imagine a fashion magazine editor-in-chief (ref. Devil Wears Prada) sings and dances around a little island? Pierce Brosnan looked so tensed and unnatural when he sang though. Colin Firth didn't have too much singing part but he was not a bad singer. Oh, I wish I could still be so charming at Firth's age, but fitter than he. And I just found out that the woman playing Rosie also plays Molly Weasley in Harry Potter. And the beautiful woman playing the role of the daughter is actually the stupid girl in Mean Girls. The man playing the role of Sky (a hot man indeed) is already 30 years old. Wow!

Besides that happy, cheerful songs in the musical, the song I like the most is "The Winner Takes it All," sung by the leading role Donna (She's the leading role, right? cuz she has more singing part).

This song is fairly heart-wrenching and echoes my thoughts. Well, not entirely, but close.
With this song accompanied by Meryl Streep's sorrowful voices and her award-winning acting skills, I sheded tears in the theater. ( and I was so glad that nobody got angry at me for crying in theater. Crying should be allowed just as much as laughing in theater.)




I was in your arms
Thinking I belonged there
I figured it made sense
Building me a fence
Building me a home
Thinking I'd be strong there
But I was a fool
Playing by the rules

The gods may throw a dice
Their minds as cold as ice
And someone way down here
Loses someone dear

**
Here is a short clip of Lay All Your Love on Me, sung by the daughter and a hot Sky.

Introspection

Usually what we look for in a lover is, in terms of attitude towards a relationship, a standard far more restricting than what's applying on ourselves.

For example, if you are a man that, say, has one night stands, you will probably want someone that does not have one night stands. If you go to bars very often, you will want someone that does not go to bars. You know what kind of fun can be had if your potential lover also does the same thing so you feel insecure if the potential lover share the same sort of habits(in terms of relationship) with you.

Then you only allow yourself to have that sort of fun, telling yourself you know what yourself is doing and will definitely not cross the line, while at the same time suspecting the potential lover's intentions of doing exactly the same thing as you.

Well, it's much more fair to demand a lover with standars that you impose on yourself. Or even better, be less demanding towards your lover than on yourself. However, it's difficult to be less demanding towards others than yourself. It's already good enough if you can use the same standards for both of you.

What if you are a man that does NOT sleep around, and only wants a lifetime partner? What should you expect of a potential lover? Will treating him with the same standards be demanding? Not at all.

The Dark Knight

How can I not say something about the first movie I saw 3 times in theater, and two of them were in the IMAX theater?

It's really worthwhile to see this movie in an IMAX theater because parts of the movie were filmed with IMAX technology. When you see the movie shot with IMAX techonology in an IMAX theater, your vision will be filled with the image. It's like you are right inside the scene. You can't see the black margins you normally see in an ordinary theater. The parts of the movie shot outdoors were especially more magnificent-looking with IMAX technology, be it a jump from the top of the skyscraper, or a car chase scene. Superb!

The movie itself is full of significances too. Well, this part should be kept for myself, not to be shared, in case it turns out to be a spoiler.

Vacation ...

"Don't make me the only hope for your normal life."
~ Rachel Dawes (The Dark Knight).

*****
I had nice vacations in summer for a few years in a row, 2004, 2005, 2006 and 2007
I went to Canada in both 2004 and 2005.
I went to several beach resorts in 2006 and 2007.
I was alone for the two-month vacation in Montreal in 2005, but I didn't feel lonely at all.

Yet I stay in Taipei this year. I didn't go anywhere. It's September already. I feel lonely.

I only want to go to Kenting for a weekend, or a weekend + 1 or 2 more days.
Isn't this trip much much shorter/cheaper than a trip in, say, some Southeastern Asian country?
I dare not dream about going to Palau this year because I am UNFORTUNATELY single.
A trip in a romantic holiday destination shall be had with a romantic, DEVOted, faithful partner.

Well... where is my DEVOted and faithful lover?

*****
"Sometimes people deserve to have their faith rewarded."
~James Gordon (The Dark Knight).

...

YAHOO's Campaign "In Search of an Ex"

Why is Yahoo doing such a cruel thing?

In whose arms is he lying now?
On whose bed is he sleeping now?
Are you looking for him?
Or is he looking for you?

Do you ever wander around the city, only to find yourself standing in front of his place? Or the place both of you used to belong to?
Do you expect to see that familiar figure standing at the familiar street corner?
Do you know how many turns you have to make, how many stairs you have to climb, and how many keys you have to use to enter that place of lost love?

Every image is like a frame of a movie, being played over and over and over again.

Maybe Yahoo is trying to inspire people, that an ex, if found, can be your new lover...

Thoughts and Nightmare

Am I truly incurable?

Why have I been waiting for a fallen white knight that enjoys one night stands better?
Why have I been dreaming about getting even, but coming up with no feasible way to do it?
Why do I believe the space between two people defines their relations and interactions?

I keep a distance from those who only want to get close to me, physically.
I want to approach the man who is trying to distance me, mentally and physically.

**
I had a dream right before dawn, in which you were lining up with me for a performance of some sort. Then out of the blue we started to argue, about us being together, about me, about you, and about the man(or men) that fucked you after the breakup. You got angry at me when I asked if you went to Scotland alone.

I forget the arguments, but I remember the pain, and the hatred within me towards the part of you that allowed other men to do such a thing to you.

And I asked you what you call the kind of people that sleep around? And you got even angrier.

And I woke up from this nightmare, feeling sad again.

Why did I waste my dream space for an unfaithful man anyway?

**

Adultery

Adultery is a criminal crime in Taiwan. It compromises the harmony of a happily married couple. The one being cheated can sue the third person for adultery.

I just came across a piece of news this morning. The husband of a married heterosexual couple had sex several times with another man. The wife thus brought a lawsuit against the third person.

The judge, however, ruled in favor of the third person.

Based on the fact the same sex marriage is not recognized by the laws in Taiwan, the judge presumes that the husband's sexual acts with the man do not pose any threats to the marriage of the couple in question. The judge also cites that the crime of adultery is listed in the Criminal Code only for the purpose of protecting the marriage life of a heterosexual couple.

This highlights the absurdity of the illegality of same sex marriage, as well as what some gay men with a taste for married husbands can get away with.

Robbie Williams

I was never a big fan of Robbie Williams, but lately I find that his old songs are actually describing a kind of mentality I should have, a type of attitude I should present to the world, and a statement I should be using to convince myself that I should have No Regrets, and that I should grow and become a Better Man so that an even better man will show up at my front door. hahaha

TRUST

Will I be able to trust again? I don't know, but I hope I will.

When I finally find someone to be with, will he, after 5 years when I feel like moving on to the next step of the relationship, decide to have sex with another man and have a trip in Burma with that man he sleeps with?

The trust is crushed and dissipated into a mere joke. It's like somebody laughing at me, "Who told you to trust me? I didn't promise that all my words to you would be true. I could break my promises just like I could break your heart. See? Am I trustworthy?"

Is it worthwhile to make myself trustworthy for people that are not?
Is it worthwhile to make myself trustworthy for a stranger that may turn out to be a liar?

"Have faith in human beings," some books or some people may say.

I don't have an answer.

Kuala Lumpur

The photo in my wallet was taken in Kuala Lumpur, just right outside the KL Tower.

"I want to give you a birthday present."
"Ok. What is it? as long as it's not expensive."
"Since you have to do some preparations beforehand, I have to tell you now few weeks in a advance."
"What preparations?"
"Well, you need to get a visa first because.... WE ARE GOING TO KUALA LUMPUR for your birthday!"

My first wonderful and romantic trip abroad.

Leftover 2

Who will sit down by my table and enjoy me?

My previous owner decided to give up this dish of me. Therefore he just strolls around Restaurant Taipei, and occasionally sits down at some tables with tempting dishes, taking some bites here and there, and then stands up again just to wander around the restaurant.

Chef TC, my creator, is very considerate. Knowing that it is a man-eat-man world, he doesn't let anybody take a bite of me or get close to me. Only the right and the righteous man can do that. Even though I have become some sort of a dish of leftover, the chef just adjusted my looks and added some spices on top to dress me up. This somehow makes my previous occupier walk back and compliment my new flavors, but then just walk away to check out other dishes on other tables, wondering if he can have some free tastings.

Now I can only sit on my table and wait, hoping that my trusted chef has made me right:

Gym Build/ Master's Degree/ English/ Chinese/ Some French/ Good Profession/ Romantic/ Simple Life/ Movies/ Music/ Traveling/ Beach/ Hiking/ Faithful/ Honest/ ...etc

...

The most boring summer

It is the most boring summer ever, without any trips anywhere.
I didn't go to Green Island, Penghu, or Kenting. I didn't go to Bintan, Singapore, or Hong Kong. What a wonderful 2006 and 2007! I had so many wonderful trips!

I want to go to Palau, Bali, and Guam. I want to go to Orchid Island, Penghu, and Formosa Coast Waterpark.

Now I don't even have a lover to keep me company and cool me down in the scorching hot Taipei city the entire summer.

I will have a lover very very soon, a lover with all the criteria that I want, a lover who only tells the truth and who will always be there for me.

Leftover ( Restaurant continued)

No way can I eat somebody else's leftover even if I am the one ordering the dish.

You see, when I eat, I want the entire plate for myself, and I do not allow another man touching any bit of my food.

Once upon a time, Chef Winnie prepared a nice and delicious dish for me to savour. It's a really nice dish with so many flavours in it, with so many ingredients in it (including my favourite salmon and maple syrup), and the serving is so big that it is meant to be eaten in a span of decades so I only ate a little bit every day since the day Chef Winnie delivered the dish to my table.

Sometimes when I saw an ingredient that I didn't like, I would still try to swallow or add some other spice to make it taste better. I just didn't want to throw out the parts of the ingredients that I didn't like. Well, in Chinese tradtion, one shall not waste food.

Sometimes the food tasted good, and sometimes the food tasted bad, but I didn't mind because the good tastes beat the bad tastes, or because I could always find some other spices to neutralize the bad tastes.

One day I suddenly realized that Chef Winnie put something that I could not stand in my plate. I didn't worry about that either. I just moved it to the side of the dish, thinking that I would come back to this part later when my tasting buds would probably change. I just picked that parts that I enjoyed first. However, I started to find more and more ingredients that I could never swallow in the dish since then.

Then some time ago, when I hadn't touched the dish for several days and had left the dish unprotected somewhere out of my control, some uninvited starving gipsy man barged in and took a bite with his dirty hands of my treasured food, leaving as he withdrew his hands traces of dead skin in the plate. When I went back to my table, that hooligan was still sitting at my seat, occupying my table, drooling my leftover. Only now it had become HIS leftover.

I shot my angry eyes at Chef Winnie, demanding an explanation. He just shrugged, and said nothing, as if the restaurant did not guarantee that the customer could finish his own dish entirely without interruptions, as if thieves and robbers were allowed into the restaurant, and as if all I could do was to find ways to share the dish (if I want to and if the hooligan want to, too), or win the dish back, or order another one.

Another man's leftover? With his saliva and god-knows-what gooey stuff mixed in?

I don't know if the almighty Chef Winnie is able to purge it or clone another one for me... I don't know... I don't know... I don't know... and I still don't know...

I want a dish composed of:
Around My Age/ Gym Build(Athletic, if the ingredient is lacking)/ Bachelor's Degree or Above/ English/ Chinese/ Good Profession/ Simple Life/ NO smoking / Movie/ Music/ Romantic/ Traveling/ Hiking/ Beach/ HOT/ Faithful/ Honest/...etc.

Maybe I am a dish for someone too. Who will order me? Now that I am partially eaten.

...

Beautiful Words

Will you want a man that needs to sleep with other men to finally realize where he belongs?

When you have every right to get angry at him, accusing him of some mistakes that he has made, then he simply says, "Why are you angry at me? I am going to tell you something nice that you want to hear so you are not supposed to be angry at me for the bad things that I've done. If you get angry at me, then I will not tell you the good things you want to hear."

Is there a logic here?

Can beautiful words make up for a bad deed?

Better Man - Robbie Wiliams

Send someone to love me
I need to rest in arms
Keep me safe from harm
In pouring rain

Give me endless summer
Lord I fear the cold
Feel I'm getting old
Before my time

As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I'm doing all I can
To be a better man

Go easy on my conscience
'Cause it's not my fault
I know I've been taught
To take the blame

Rest assured my angels
Will catch my tears
Walk me out of here
I'm in pain

As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I'm doing all I can
To be a better man

Once you've found that lover
You're homeward bound
Love is all around
Love is all around

I know some have fallen
On stony ground
But Love is all around