Merde Actually

New book: Merde Actually

Square One (Poolside Story 2)

The previously dubbed "uncarved jade" has now become an "incompatible jade."

They say a story should have coherent beginning and ending. To make my story complete and coherent, I decided to visit the location where the beginning of this story took place about 6 weeks ago.

I went inside the swimming pool premise around the same time as last time when the sun was leaning against the western sky. The sun felt stronger and harsher than last time. It had been a softer and gentler sunlight the first time I was there when the story began.

I chose exactly the same spot to sit and lay down. As I sat back and relaxed, I found that the poolside area right in front of me was as almost deserted as when it is winter time. People were either leaving, swimming in the pool, or sitting somewhere farther away to my right.

Where had he sat by the pool 6 weeks ago? I was recalling every single detail I remembered. He was sitting or lying down right in front of me, reading, listening to music, stretching his body, checking people out, and occassionally glancing at me. He even moved to a spot to my right when his original spot was shadowed by the nearby structure, all the while kept checking me out with all his innocence.

Of course I was checking him out, too. What a cute guy from the same gym I go to.

But today at the exact spot, nobody was there, except that swimmers occassionallywould get out of the water and walk by.

I took out my book, trying to read, but I was staring at the empty spot in front of me, looking for any sign of glances directed towards me, and a face I had been thinking of fairly often for the past 6 weeks.

As the sun was sliding lower and lower, and finally blocked by the structure, I decided to bid farewell to this deserted poolside before the sun set. I walked past the spot where he had been lying the first time. I rinsed off my body in the shower room and left the builindg as the sun was nowhere to be seen. Then here came the bench.

Nobody was on the bench, waiting for me to come out of the building. I stood there and let the image of desertion sink into my brain, and then took a right turn and kept walking, looking for the location when he first smiled at me and voiced his desire to get to know me. When I arrived at the forking path and looked behind my shoulder, well... I let a few drops of tears fall and then kept walking.

Maybe I should pretend that nothing had happened when I left the swimming pool 6 weeks ago, just as nothing happened today when I left. However, I can't pretend that I didn't have fun these past 6 weeks.

A

電癮

2009夏天必進戲院用大銀幕看的電影（銀幕愈大愈爽）：

已看：Wolverine, Star Trek, Angels & Demons, Terminator Salvation,
未看：Transformers 2, Harry Potter, Up, Final Destination 4, G.I. Joe, The Time Traveler's Wife, 2012, more to come...

其它已經看的電影：17 Again, He's just not that into you, Slumdog Millionaire, Confessions of a Shopaholic, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Yes Man......

希望不要再讓2008年瓦力事件重蹈覆轍，最後居然是2009年過年時，帶DVD到奶奶家用小電視看，感覺真差，愈看愈覺得委屈....

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Destiny

Sometimes you would wish that you had known someone at an earlier or a later time, but the truth is, if you had met such person at a time more desirable to you, probably neither of you would have been able to achieve what you have or don't have right at this moment. Probably you wouldn't have wanted to know each other; probably you would have become foes, instead of friends.

It's destiny.

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Paoma Historic Trail （跑馬古道）

I just saw on a website about Paoma Historic Trail (跑馬古道), which reminded me of Wufengqi Waterfalls （五峰旗瀑布） so I did a little research on this historic trail and found out Wufengqi Waterfalls is actually very close to this historic trail.

I have been to Wufengqui Waterfalls few years ago so I guess it was probably on my way to the waterfalls that I caught sight of the sign to the historic trail, which made the name seem so familiar to me, but I am sure that I have never been to this grandiose-sounding historic trail. God I really like its name.

Paoma Historic Trail is said to be part of the grander Danlan Historic Trail (淡蘭古道), linking current Xindian (新店) and Jiaoxi (礁溪). According to the websites I found, the transportation to this trail is not quite convenient. It may be easy to get to the entrance on the Jiaoxi end, but there's no connection transportation on the Xindian end once you finish the hike.

Well, I am sure I will visit this place one day, but I just don't know when and how.

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Poolside Story

I was swimming in a mixture of warm yet fading sunlight, upbeat yet tedious music, informative yet brain-hurting magazine, and my calm yet somewhat distracted mind, when all of a sudden a face I recognized came into view.

The swimmers kept swimming; the smokers kept smoking; the readers kept readingl; the watchers kept watching; and I, for one who was distracted by the sight and plunged into a myriad of episodes of poolside fantasies, could only keep on pretending nothing had happened.

Yet the occasional glances seemed to foretell a destined encounter that would take place a few minutes later. On this particular day as usual as ever, an extraordinary event occurred, caught me off gaurd and led me into an unfamiliar path.

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YOUTH Park

The very first commemorable episode in my life of an exciting event took place in Youth Park on Saturday 30 May 2009.

That event really made my day and, so far, my week.

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FIVE Movie Reviews

Well, I haven't written anything about movies on the blog lately even though I have seen 5 movies in the past one month: Wolverine, 17 Again, Star Trek, Angels & Demons, and Terminator Salvation.

Where should I begin? Everyone knows that it's gonna take double or triple the efforts if one doesn't finish one's assignment in time. Now with 5 reviews yet to be published here, I am feeling kind of lazy, even reluctant to write anything about them.

Maybe I will come back to these movies some other time, or maybe I will just copy & paste the reviews I wrote on Facebook to this blog.

But if I am going to compare these five movies, I would say:
Star Trek > Terminator Salvation = Angels & Demons > 17 Again > Wolverine

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tryout for my new camera

So I got a new camera. To try it out, I decided to go hiking yesterday on Qixing Mountain. It was sunny in downtown Taipei, but as soon as I got off the bus in the mountain, I could see fog coming from all directions.

I took some photos of the mist in the woods,

some photos of the steam coming out of the rocks,

some photos of lizards (some blue-tailed ones, and a HUGE brown one (see above)

I also tried the panorama function of the camera.

The hike was good, but I'd rather hike on a clear day. I also had to hike in the rain sometimes this time. Generally, it was a good camera, but I still have to try it out again on a sunny day.

For more photos, visit my photo album by clicking on the album on the right side.

A

(p.s. I adjusted the size of the original photos so that it was easier to upload.)

問路 / Directions

When I was walking in the alleys to the south of Zhongxiao East Road today, a scooter driver stopped in front of me, and asked me for directions to Lane 233 of Dunhua South Road Section 1 (敦化南路一段233巷), I guess. I, of course, gave her the most detailed directions I could think of to help her find her way.

After making sure she understood what I had said, I kept on walking. All of a sudden, it hit my mind that I probably gave her the wrong directions. The whole time I was thinking about "Lane 223 of Zhongxiao East Road Section 4 (忠孝東路四段223巷)," which is to the north of Zhonxiao East Road. I immediately turned around, wanting to make prompt corrections to the scooter rider, but she has already been quite a distance from me. I was not able to tell her the correct directions. I felt so bad right at the moment, for giving her the wrong directions.

Oh well... I hope she was not in an emergency. I hope she's found her way by this time.

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加州見聞錄04 (brown puddle at a showering room)

昨晚在某健身房的廁所外，偷聽到清潔人員的抱怨。

聽完後讓人覺得超級噁心，怎麼會有人在淋浴間拉屎。

嗯…其實這並不是第一次聽說了，我也聽朋友說過他的親身經歷，不過當然不是說我朋友曾經在那裡拉屎過，而是他親眼在淋浴間看到那種黑棕色的塊狀物，受到驚嚇的他，迅速逃離現場，更換淋浴間，所以他也無法證實那幾塊深棕色的塊狀物，是否為「人造物」。

昨晚清潔人員抱怨的說詞大致上是這樣：「拉屎就拉屎，一塊一塊的還好，可是怎麼會有這種一大灘的，而且還到處都是，地上有，牆壁上也有…」

...

about historic trails / 關於古道

Expecting a possible hike on the well-known Batongguan Historic Trail (八通關古道）, I thought of the historic trails I had been to.

Well, the most memorable one must be Caoling Historic Trail (草嶺古道) since everything started from there. Anyway, this trail, in the past, was the only way people traveled between the current Ilan and Taipei areas. It's actually a part of the longer Danlan Historic Trail (淡蘭古道), with Dan referring to the old name of Taipei area (any connotations to DANshui?) and Lan referring the name of Ilan area. I've been to this historic trail several times, and I still like this place. It takes about 3 hours to for this hike, and then you can go sit in the water at Fulong（福隆） if it's summertime.


I've also visited Yulu Historic Trail (魚路古道, that is, fish road historic trail, being the path by which the fishermen in the past carried their fish to Taipei to sell), a.k.a. Jinbaoli Path（金包里大道）, linking Jinshan (金山) in the northern coast and Taipei basin in the past. I've hiked the northern section of the trail, from Qingtiangang (擎天崗) at Yangming Mountain to Bayan（八煙） with the section between Bayan and Jinshan replaced by car roads, several times. As for the southern section, I think I've only hiked once, but I am not sure since the southern section is quite short, and mostly gone. The northern section of the historic trail takes about 2 hours. If you are hiking out of Yangming Mountain, you can catch a bus at Bayan to go to Jingshan and enjoy the beach there in the summer, or just stroll around the historic streets and have some sweet potatoes. YUM

I've walked downward on Tianmu Historic Trail（天母古道） several times. It's just a short hiking path for people to have a quick exercise. The view is quite nice on clear days. The stairs can be quite steep at some points. Now I wonder if Tianmu Historic Trail has anything to do with Yulu Historic Trail. Some people say it might possibly be the southern most section of Yulu Historic Trail but I don't know. I'll just let other people worry about it, and keep enjoying the hike and the scenery.

I just checked on the Internet and found that there are actually several historic trails in Yangming Mountain National Park. Maybe I've been to some without knowing it.

My Own Hiking Trip

So yesterday I decided to go hiking by myself on Qixing Mountain. I think the total distance I've walked was nearly 5 kilometers on the winding steep hiking paths.

I startde from Xiaoyiukeng and walked all the way to the main peak of Qixing Mountain, and then, instead of cotinuing on to the east peak as usual, just hiked down to Miaopu (another hiking entrance), and finally back to the bus stop.

The weather was awesome. I saw some lizards on the way, but only one or two of them were the kind with a golden-bluish tail. I think I saw more during the past hiking trips.



I tried to take photos of downtown Taipei, especially Taipei 101, but my phone camera is actually not very good. It came out as some blurry dark spot. I think I should really go get a good camera so that I can take better photos.




My phone camera, however, still takes good photos of a strange sign whose illustration probably means "do not set yourself on fire" whereas it is actually telling poeople not to burn incense or paper money:

I also took a photo of a cute caterpillar:


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Affirmation - Savage Garden

I haven't posted anything for some time. Well... here is an old song from Savage Garden that's very good. Check it out:



I believe the sun should never set upon an argument
I believe we place our happiness in other people's hands
I believe that junk food tastes so good because it's bad for you
I believe your parents did the best job they knew how to do
I believe that beauty magazines promote low self esteem
I believe I'm loved when I'm completely by myself alone

I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can't appreciate real love 'til you've been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye

I believe you can't control or choose your sexuality
I believe that trust is more important than monogamy
I believe your most attractive features are your heart and soul
I believe that family is worth more than money or gold
I believe the struggle for financial freedom is unfair
I believe the only ones who disagree are millionaires

I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can't appreciate real love 'til you've been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye

I believe forgiveness is the key to your own happiness
I believe that wedded bliss negates the need to be undressed
I believe that God does not endorse tv evangelists
I believe in love surviving death into eternity

I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can't appreciate real love 'til you've been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye
Until you say goodbye

**

The Cows

I miss the tiny yellow fish that nibbled on my feet, the silvergrass that cut open my fingers and arms in the mountains, the seawater hot spring on a raining summer morning before sunrise, the squid that I never caught on a night fishing boat, the beautiful scenery when I was on a propeller plane across a myriad of lakes, the goats on the steep hills by the ocean on the island with a double heart-shaped fishing trap, the waterfall far in the mountain with few people swimming underneath it, the two kids that liked to hold my hands when we walked to a movie theater, the sunburn that I get every year, and definitely the cows that witnessed everything.


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A Hong Kong person's trip around Taipei

I've been to all of the places mentioned in the itinerary of this Hong Kong person (id: blueship), except some of the restaurants, but the trip, the attractions, and the way blueship described every detail during the trip (even though I couldn't undestand some of the descriptions in Cantonese) make me feel like going on a trip like this. Oh... but I don't really need 5 consecutive days to have a trip around Taipei since I live in Taipei.

Check this out: http://0rz.tw/QsntG

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True Blood

(Thou shall not crave thy neighbor.)

This is a new series by HBO. I heard about it few weeks ago, but haven't watched it yet. It's about vampire living side-by-side with human beings. Some review said it's better than Twilight. Well... I don't know, but I think I am gonna try watching it.

The show was by the same creator that made Six Feet Under so it must be quite good, but I didn't really watch Six Feet Under and I think I should try finishing Six Feet Under, too.

Since Heroes (NBC) is about to come to an end for season 3, I think I'm gonna need some new fresh blood for entertainment. hahaha ..... actually, I still have Desperate Housewives (ABC) and Ugly Betty(ABC).

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(I like this poster for True Blood.)

dimanche

My parents came to Taipei to stay at The Grand Hotel, using their discount coupon. I spent some time with them, looking at houses in Banqiao. Those houses were good, but I didn't really like the location, nor the surrouding environment.

My decision, and also my parents', to buy a place for myself in Taipei, well, is still not fulfilled yet to this day.

I brought my parents to a good restaurant close to Zhongxiao Dunhua area and also took them for a walk in that area. Suddenly I had some sort of resentment towards A/X in Breeze B2 while we were walking inside the mall. Well, I am completely over with that feeling towards this detrimentally pricey brand (I even bought some of the discounted ones last week). I continued on with my plans with my parents.

It all happened after my parants went back to their place. Je me souviens encore que c'était un dimanche. J'ai pleuré le lundi.

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Worry

"Worry" is actually an unconstructive emotion. It can only plunge you into deep abyss of despair and panic, without even slightly changing the status quo.

What will happen will eventually happen; what won't happen will never happen.

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Friendliness

I was sort of paranoid and silly since my freshman year in university regarding the process of friend making. I would stop hanging out with someone if there was one thing I couldn't tolerate about this person. Gradually I had fewer and fewer friends. This situation was worsened after graduation as I had less opportunity to meet new people except for my new colleagues.

There have been some people with whom I might have been friendly but I decided not to due to certain gossips and rumors about these people. Even though those gossips and rumors may be true and may serve as some sort of guidelines in dealing with these people, I shouldn't have reached my conclusion about them without actually knowing these people.

Maybe a person that is not faithful in a relationship can be a friend. Maybe a person that sleeps with different people every day can be a friend. Maybe a person that has a job that I don't like can be a friend. Maybe a person that is too conceited can be a friend. Maybe a person that has a crush on your lover can be a friend. I have been limiting myself as to whom I could be friendly with, and I ended up being on friendly terms with almost nobody.

Friends with different point of views are important and inspiring. They can offer me a different perspective on things and help me see what I don't see. Friends with the same point of views are reassuring and easy to get along. These two types of friends are both necessary, especially the ones with a different point of view.

Although one can be defined by the people he hangs out with, one can also NOT be influenced by the people he hangs out with. Regardless, it is always a merit to spread the good influence, and also learn something positive from friends.

No man is an island. A healthy mentality is established with the help of positive human interactions. I should be more acceptive. I should hold less prejudice against people I don't really know. I should try to be friendly.

You can only conclude if you like a person or not after knowing one or two things about this person, but there's usually something more about a person that you don't know. Maybe the next stranger you come across will have the answers to some of your questions.

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April Blues

The temperature dropped to as low as 13 degrees Celsius on April first, much colder than February, in which I could even put on my hottest summer shirt on a 30-degree-Celsius day. I thought April is all about life and rebirth and warmth and anything jolly. It was warmer in March, too. Apparently April this year didn't give me a good impression.

Neither did April last year. The devilish April of 2008 shredded my heart into pieces, using one of those shredders you could get from Costco. After shredding my heart, as if that's the main purpose of such machine's existence, it was broken as well. The shredder was thus left against the orange wall, among other objects that nobody wanted to keep, never to be seen again, forgotten.

Has April become a sad month? I surely hope not.

Maybe it gets cold now only because it will make you feel much warmer when the summer comes. And it will surely get warmer in a few days.

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why do people leave ?

People come into your life for a reason. Do they leave for a reason, too?

I experienced my first episode of someone's departure when I was in kindergarten. I think I was too young to feel anything that I am feeling now.

I always thought people that I know and care about would always stay in my life forever, or maybe until the day I no long live. Some of the aging symptoms have been creeping onto my parents lately. DJ has decided that he wanted to move away from Taiwan next year.

The familiarity that I once had is changing. I am scared. It's not that I am scared of changing. I am perfectly alright now that I moved to my new place in the east district, and I am used to the new daily/weekly routines. It's different from before. But no matter what, all the people I care about are still reachable in a short time.

I just feel sad. Why do people, even the ones that care about you, leave your life?

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Slumdog Millionaire / 貧民百萬大富翁

I saw Slumdog Millionaire, the Best Picture winner of the Oscars this year, last night. The movie itself was good, depicting the lives of people growing up in the slums in India.

The main character, Jamal, answered correctly all the questions on TV show "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" based on his personal experiences in the past. His love for Latika is also worth mentioning even though this movie is not about love at all, I think. It's more about life, rich and poverty. (I don't know why the poster makes the movie seem like a love movie...)

I also like what Latika symbolizes in the movie, and the symbolization is the most highlighted in the final question Jamal had to answer to win the biggest prize.

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小時候的歌 / songs from my childhood

不知道為什麼，最近忽然復古了起來，一直找小時候聽的歌來聽，可能是跟認識的人有關吧，哈。

楊林 - 情人：


藍心湄 - 一見鍾情：


草蜢隊 - 暗戀的代價：


郭富城 - 對你愛不完


伊能靜 - 悲傷茱麗葉



還有更多 ...

ONE YEAR

I have been working at my current job for one year. I really enjoy working here. I am glad that I made the right decision to change jobs a year ago. The parent company of my previous company has really serious financial problems right now. Even the U.S. government can't just sit and let such gigantic company crash.

Anyway, I get to learn different translation techniques, and knowledge about laws. I also get to know some nice people here. The colleagues here treat each other very nicely and the company treats all the employees equally and generously. I am so happy to be able to work here.

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加州見聞錄03 (Clapping Lady on Treadmill)

啪啪，啪啪，一陣熟悉的拍手聲響起。我順著聲音的方向看過去，原來是她，想想自己也已經好久沒看到她了。

記得剛開始到加州時，經常看到一位嬌小女子在跑步機上自得其樂，邊跑步邊拍手，不過如果只是拍手，那也沒什麼值得在這裡介紹這位奇人物。這位鼎鼎大名的小姐呢，她還會在跑步機上吆喝、揮手、跳躍、碎步、倒退走、橫著走、單腳跳、抬腿、用雙手撐起身體等等，高級動作更包括了變換跑步機迷離步法、跑步機速度調整步法、以及合併上述所有動作。

她帶給許多新加入的加州會員歡樂，讓人耳目一新，讓人捧腹大笑。希望她可以持之以恆，散播歡樂，散播愛。

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Ricky Martin

Well, where do I start? I started to notice Ricky Martin when I was in high school. His album "Vuelve" was released in Taiwan around that time and La Copa de la Vida was chosen as the theme song of World Cup in the same year.

Then I started to look for his older songs, and there were actually some good songs. I continued to purchase his albums released subsequently and really enjoyed them a lot, but the later ones are not as good as earlier ones, I think.

He is also why I started to learn Spanish because I wanted to understand his Spanish lyrics. I bought some self-taught Spanish program, and later on took 2 years of Spanish courses in university. However, I never managed to actually speak good Spanish, except for getting high marks in classes, and also due to the fact that I spent more time studying French in university because of another hot reason.

Anyway, I just suddenly feel like listening to Ricky Martin again this week. Those old songs still rock and the singer... I don't know...I haven't seen any of his new photos for a long time.

Check out this good song from Ricky Martin. The music video is presented in a special way.
Click here: Private Emotion

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Confessions of a Shopaholic / 購物狂的異想世界

昨晚看了購物狂的異想世界，看電影前我沒看過小說，同時也只知道這是一個購物狂擔任理財專欄作家的故事。

進了戲院看電影後，覺得這部電影還滿好看的，有許多幽默好笑的地方，也有許多發人深省之處（???!!!），想想自己到底是不是有時候也會有那種瘋狂買東西的心理（我好像有過），不過還好，我還沒有像女主角那麼嚴重，不過女主角是因為購物狂才認識了她的完美伴侶，不知道我可不可以因為亂買東西，把信用卡刷爆，而有同樣的結果 .. :P （想太多... 倒不如買東西送給花癡的對像，還比較有可能....）

想看輕鬆浪漫喜劇的人（不過這不是愛情電影），可以去看。

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Anansi Boys / 阿南西之子

尼爾蓋曼（Neil Gaiman）繼美國眾神（American Gods）後，最新出版的中文翻譯長篇小說「阿南西之子」，我今天在書局看到了，實在太令人驚訝了。

這本小說還滿幽默的，故事敘述流暢。以美國眾神中的一位神祉「惡作劇之神」的兒子作為主軸，讀起來輕鬆愉快。

最近想看書的人可以去買來看看，哈。

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PRIMO

昨晚在China Pa 的春酒結束後，跟同事們一起衝到 Primo 去。Primo 聽說是高級時尚酒吧，知名企業人士和藝人經常光顧之處，入場費不低，但是我們這群十幾個人，靠著關係就免費入場了。

在China Pa完全沒喝酒（幸好沒同事灌我酒），想等到Primo時再喝，感受一下氣氛。除了 Vodka + Cranberry juice 外，還喝了據說叫 Lemon Jump的調酒，好像是用Tequila調的吧，味道甜甜的。

那裡的音樂其實不會超級high，我只覺得 Beyonce 的 Single Ladies 比較 high 一點，其它的就很普通。Primo 沒有舞池，想跳舞的人，只能在包廂或走道上跳，而且還滿多人就四處找地方跳了起來。

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better in time - Leona Lewis

I really love this song. It chimes with my heart.

The music video is available on YouTube, but not embeddable.
Click here: Better in Time

It's been the longest winter without you
I didn't know where to turn to
See somehow I can't forget you
After all that we've been through
...
...

What Hurts the Most - Cascada

There is a good song from Body Combat 38 sung by Cascada. I like the lyrics and the music, but definitely not the millions of punches and uppercuts I have to do during this song. :p

[Chorus:]
What hurts the most, was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
Never knowing, what could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

Seasons of LOVE

I truly hope I can understand more types of love. I just don't know why it seems so difficult for me whereas some people can handle the non-romance type of love so at ease. I don't know why I want the romance-type of love so much as to ignore/abandon other types.

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班傑明的奇幻旅程 / The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

原本的週四西門加州行，臨時被朋友打斷，說他心情不好，要我陪他看電影，所以我只好放棄今晚的加州行，去看了我其實也滿想看的 The Curious Case of Benjamin Button。
對我來說，這是一部關於時間的電影，關於死亡的電影。你永遠不知道未來會發生什麼事。

「班傑明的奇幻旅程」原本只是費茲傑羅的短篇故事而已，被改編成一部長達二小時四十五分鐘的電影，這不禁令人想到「斷背山」其實原本也是短篇故事。看這部電影時，有點讓人覺得好像在看一部文學作品，每個細節都敘述得很詳細，或許有人會因為這部電影緩慢步調而覺得無聊吧，但是我覺得這部電影真的值得細嚼慢嚥，思考生命和時間的意義。

無論是愈來愈老，還是愈來愈年輕，失去的永遠再也收不回來。班傑明就跟其他人害怕變老一樣，他也害怕變年輕，各有各個苦衷。生在養老院的班傑明，周圍經常圍繞的老人，這些到養老院度過終年的老人家，常常跟班傑明的生命作為對比，有時候反而會讓人覺得變老跟變年輕其實差不了多少，都一樣愈來愈脆弱。

電影中那場車禍的處理方式，我非常非常喜歡。當生命裡發生了自己不喜歡的事情時，我們都會在腦子裡拼命思考到底是哪個地方出了差錯，才會造成憾事，但是拼命思考也於事無補，事情都已經發生了，想愈多愈讓自己頭痛。

題外話，忽然想到其實變年輕有個好處，就是一般人在身體適合四處旅遊時，經濟能力通常不許可，等到經濟能力夠了時，身體又變差了，但是如果身體愈來愈年輕的話，等到經濟能力許可時，身體正好適合四處旅行。

當布萊德彼得變年輕後，四處遊山玩水時，電影畫面有時候會覺得好像在拍廣告一樣，超級耍帥的，哈。凱特布蘭琪在電影中變得超美超年輕的，特效真是厲害啊...

我很喜歡班傑明在片尾說的話：
Some people were born to sit by a river.
Some get struck by lightning.
Some have an ear for music.
Some are artists.
Some swim.
Some know buttons.
Some know Shakespeare.
Some are mothers.
And some people dance.

--
電影看完居然已經超過十一點了！
原以為可以在電影結束後到統領閒晃，
最後只好告訴自己週日就快到了...

A

Cirque du Soleil / 太陽馬戲團

昨晚看了一生一定要看一次的太陽馬戲團表演，劇碼是「歡躍之旅」，真是超精彩的！

表演七點半開始，我是七點二十幾分才到場，才發現原來VIP座位有專屬帳篷和飲料和點心可以享用，早知道就早一點到，不過中場休息時，我還是有使用到VIP帳篷，當VIP超爽的，他們還給我一本精美的節目單和 Cirque du Soleil 項圈呢。

我的座位是第一排，原本以為第一排跟舞台間會有一段距離，沒想到大概只隔了不到一公尺，所以表演者常常就直接矗立在我面前，實在超近的，有時候覺得有點令人心驚膽跳，怕表演者掉到我身上。劇中有段是下雪的場景，最後暴風雪狂吹時，第一排的感覺特別強烈。

第一排的好處就是，有好幾個節目的表演者都是打赤膊的肌肉男，所以可以近距離欣賞他們，看他們倒立，跑來跑去，跳來跳去，飛來飛去，彈來彈去，真是賞心悅目啊，跌到我身上也沒關係，哈。

A

He is just not that into you / 他其實沒那麼喜歡你

「他其實沒那麼喜歡你」的劇情由好幾段故事組合而成，每段故事間有互動和關聯，我覺得非常好看，只是角色關係有點複雜，有時候會覺得怎麼某個人跟某個人會互相認識，所以應該看小說會比較清楚吧。

片中有段劇情我非常喜歡，看了會讓人心有慼慼焉。當你喜歡一個人，你會不停查看電話、電子信箱、網路留言、以及任何可能聯絡你的方式，以知道對方是否留言給你，深怕一不小心就錯過了留言。因此，你有可能會每分鐘看一次手機，每五分鐘看一次電子信箱，每小時看一次網路留言，把自己搞得心神不寧。有留言就樂不可支，沒留言就垂頭喪氣...

還有一段故事我非常喜歡，大概就是在說如果一個人在結婚後（或有了伴侶後），才找到真正的真命天子，這時該怎麼抉擇？如果新認識的人才有辦法讓你有戀愛的感覺，如果新認識的人擁有你真正想要的生活方式？你有勇氣把舊人換掉嗎？ 這段故事有點…… 但是…… （以下與電影無關）難道時間先後就可以決定一切嗎？先佔到位置的先贏？還是真正有資格的人才贏呢？但是要怎麼證明自己更有資格呢？ （咦...怎麼會講到這裡呢....）

關於演員：
沒想到演出「鐵男躲避球」的那位遜咖 Justin Long 居然會演出這種浪漫片，跟他在我心中的形象有點不搭軋。
Bradley Cooper 還是一樣帥氣迷人啊，比他在「沒問題先生」中還要帥。
Jennifer 跟 Ben 配得真好，他們那段故事最後超級感人的。
Drew Barrymore 的角色戲份不多，但是都很有趣，她的 gay 朋友們都滿風趣的。

台灣雅虎的預告片有段影片告訴你這部電影不會出現的十種愛情電影橋段，非常精彩，值得一看。

A

過渡浪漫．過度浪漫

感情發展一定要有浪漫元素，從一開始就要。

無論是不經意的相視，突如其來的相遇，莫名其妙的心跳加速，害羞的詞不達意，都是浪漫。

不經思考的小動作和表情，能綴起一篇篇的幻想，讓人心生納悶，讓人有所期待，讓人不知所措，讓人愈陷愈深。

偶遇來得突然，殺你措手不及，讓你搪塞，就像不管對白在心裡演練過多少次，當你一上場，立刻腦袋一片空白。

開口說話吧！笑容無論多燦爛，無論多美好，也無法說出肺腑真言，道盡千言萬語。

在浪漫的過渡期，我依舊過度浪漫。

情人節快樂！

A

塞翁失馬．小鹿亂X

今晚真是塞翁失馬，焉知非福，哈，真令人高興。

（首先感謝同事把今天的急件延到明天上午交，讓我能準時下班。）
（再來感謝...嗯...感謝西門加州好了......?）
（最後感謝...厄... :P ）

A

L'amour, comment faire ...

In a surprised and confused glee, I managed to let some words fly out of my mouth.

Rarely have I run into him around this time in the gym. Never has him taken the initiative to talk to me. What I managed to say yesterday evening wasn't the 100% truth, but something that had been toned down and down-to-earth. The truth would probably be too much and halt the conversation, making it even more awkward for ongoing interactions. The truth, however, may also help break the ice. Anyway, I will never know because I've used this one and only opportunity.

You can never prepare yourself for this kind of opportunity, and when an opportunity arises, you either benefit from it, or screw it up. I don't know when next opportunity will show up. Maybe it will be right around the corner when I go out, but the situation will be totally different, totally unexpected.

How to talk to your crush? How to respond to his words? How to pursue love? Comment faire l'amour? I really want to know the answers.

I hope I will do better next time, and I know I will.

A

Valentine's Gift / 情人節禮物 ...

下週六就是西洋情人節了，好想送人禮物，不知道可以送誰。
他不需送我任何東西，只是必須告訴我，他知道我非常喜歡他就行了，而且…

有誰可以送呢？

It's Valentine's Day next Saturday. I really feel like giving somebody a gift, but I don't know to whom I can give it to. He doesn't need to give me anything. He only needs to tell me that he knows that I like him a lot, and ...

To whom can I give a gift to?

A

Bradley James

大概一個月前，發現英國BBC有個節目叫「Merlin」，聽說好像很好看，但是我始終沒去找來看。過年時忽然發現公視居然有撥，節目名稱叫「少年魔法師梅林」。不過我也只看了二、三集，最近會去找來繼續看。

這個節目後我覺得還滿好看的，雖然有點像童話故事，不過飾演少年亞瑟的 Bradley James 超帥的，飾演梅林那位就長得普普。我在網路上查了一下，Bradley James 原來年紀比我小三歲。

Youtube上面有人替他做了個短片：


我還發現Bradley在一部叫做Dis/Connected的短片上演出，YouTube也有：

宋廚北京烤鴨 + Playing

好心的同事在一月初就訂了今晚的宋廚，所以當然不能缺席。

因為同事訂的時間是19:30，所以我決定在晚餐前的時間硬是擠進西門加州行（還差點不能成行，真驚險，哈哈）。結束加州行，衝入西門捷運站時，已經19:40左右了，出了市政府捷運站，又找了老半天，終於在八點前進入鼎鼎大名的宋廚。

這時他們才剛開始切烤鴨，嗯，還好沒錯過最重要的一道菜。雖然他們的烤鴨是全台冠軍，但是我平常幾乎沒在吃烤鴨，所以真的沒辦法分辨…這樣講會不會辜負了同事的苦心呢，哈。到場的幾個外國同事都說好吃，可是就是不願多吃，反而一直喝啤酒。

宋廚就只有烤鴨好吃，其他菜就普通。總共好像十八個人出席，一人440元。

九點多結束後，少數幾個同事決定去找地方續攤，可是因為明天還要上班，所以也不能太晚。原本說好要去春水堂，結果走路走一走，居然臨時變成去 Playing，不抽煙的我在那裡一直猛聞他們的煙味...覺得好難過，不過聊天內容倒挺有料，也挺八卦的，而且我整個晚上還一直被同事猛虧我晚餐遲到的原因…

我今天才知道，有個外國同事居然是東區某VIP酒吧的股東之一啊，好多藝人經常去那裡光顧呢。他說如果我想加入會員的話，可以算我半價，可是我連 gay bar 都沒在去了，straight bar 應該吸引不了我吧，再說會員幾乎都是藝人的酒吧，會費應該超貴的吧。

嗯…律師都不律師了...哈

A

really good quotes from Ugly Betty S2E16

Betty's Father: "Cooking is my passion. What makes you feel good about yourself?"
...
(skipping)
...
Daniel: "I am always looking for meaning in my life everywhere but the place I can actually find it. Right here. I love this job."

Body Combat 40 !?

I've got a friend that I don't really know on my friend list on Facebook. He is an aerobics instructor in New Zealand. He just posted photos of their DVD filming for Body Combat 40. Well, BC 39 hasn't even been released in Taiwan yet (I think), and they are filming BC 40 already! wow, and those people on stage even put on some special outfits (not sure if it's taekwondo).

A

加州見聞錄02

今晚在加州毛巾櫃台換毛巾時，有個人從更衣室走出來，說什麼會員之間的糾紛要找警察之類的話。

接著我走進更衣室時，感覺氣氛有點怪，轉頭一看，發現廁所走出來的鏡子附近站了一堆人，大家都瞪著廁所的方向看，我當時並未過去一探究竟，而是繼續往前走，找空櫃子放東西。

找到櫃子後，聽到旁邊兩個人在說話（我真的沒有故意偷聽），他們說什麼有人在偷拍，另一個回答說有什麼好拍的，還說可能是沒看過外國人的，所以想拍下來看（真是有趣的推論...）。

換好衣服後，我走到廁所那邊，發現有個白人圍著浴巾，靠在梳妝鏡子前，注視著廁所的方向，看起來有點狼狽，廁所隔間那邊站了幾位加州員工，他們似乎在要求某個隔間內的人出來。這時我就清楚發生什麼事了。

我重訓完又回到更衣室時，發現廁所隔間那邊除了加州員工外，還多了位警察，他們在隔間那裡走進走出，還拿了凳子在那邊爬上爬下，不知道在幹什麼。其中有幾間門是關著的，幾間門是開的，我也不知道偷拍者是否已經出來，還是依然把自己反鎖在裡面。

(補充：2/4的蘋果日報有這條新聞，偷拍是在淋浴間發生的。誰會帶相機去洗澡啊？？？)

A

end of holidays

I spent most of my holidays in my parents' place so I ended up doing nothing most of the time. I really feel like going to some isolated beach on an tropical island with someone.

I stayed in Taipei on the first day of this long vacation just so that I could attend the over-crowded Chinese New Year Special Edition of body combat class, where the hot instructor also participated in the instruction. I decided to come back to Taipei one day before the holidays ended so that I could attend the class taught by the hot instructor on Sunday morning, just to make up the two classes taught by the same hot guy during the holidays when I was not in Taipei.

I went to a body combat class in Taichung branch. The instructor in Taichung was good at the combat moves, but I didn't like the music he chose; nor could he compare to the hotness of the über-hot instructor in Taipei. haha

I realized that I just wrote a blog entry without making any constructive points. (oh, well... 又是花癡文一篇)

A

台中加州

雖然已經去過台中加州好幾次了，但是昨天這一次感覺特別奇妙。

昨天下午到台中加州做點重訓，順便試看看台中的Body Combat。走進加州時，覺得人數比之前幾次都還要多，但是不管再怎麼多，都還只能算是台北場的週末早上時段人數吧。

台中加州給人的感覺跟台北的不太一樣，這間健身房雖然表面上跟台北差不多（其實比號稱台北旗艦店的那間還要大很多），但是使用者的…組成就有點不同，台中加州讓我覺得健身房其實異男還滿多的。

因為我從來沒在台中加州上過課，所以走進教室時覺得有點緊張。台中的教室很大，人也不少，但是絕對不會擠，只是音樂倒是小聲了點，不知道是喇叭的位置還是怎樣，聽起來沒有台北場的快感，同時教練的麥克風聲音也有說不上來的怪異感，好像舞台離我們很遠很遠一樣。雖然他的動作還滿漂亮的，外表還算可以（？），但是選的音樂就比較不合我的胃口。

嗯，我還是比較喜歡台北那個 :p

A

重返納尼亞 / Narnia Revisited

浮現在冰牆後的白女巫，依舊冷豔凌人。只要獻上我的血，就能把她釋放出來，她也願意助我一臂之力，實現我的心願，以作為交換的籌碼。但是值得嗎？

衣櫥裡的世界是虛幻的，衣櫥外的世界是真實的，不知白女巫的魔法，到了衣櫥外的世界是否能持續，是否能為我呼風喚雨，讓我左右逢源。我要的不只是土耳其軟糖，我也沒有國家需要收復，我要的是一顆心，一顆樸素但強壯的心，一顆沈默但瀟灑的心，一顆讓我魂牽夢縈的心。

白女巫或許會認為我是傻瓜吧，但是冷若冰霜的她，或許永遠不會懂，或許永遠只能孤獨地在冰封世界裡，獨裁統治她的王國，抑或只能寂寞地存在於某個空間中，等待她的忠實僕人帶來人類之血，予以釋放。

或許我也在等人來釋放我，或許吧。

White Witch, appearing behind the ice wall, still looked stunningly cold and beautiful. With my blood, I could set her free. In exchange, she offered to help me realize my wishes. But is it worthwhile?

It’s a fantasy world inside the wardrobe. Outside it’s reality. I don’t know if White Witch’s magic would remain magical outside of the wardrobe. Would it still be powerful? Would it make everything as I wish it to be? What I want, though, is not simply some Turkish Delights. I don’t have a kingdom to claim back, either. What I want is a heart, simple yet strong, silent yet dashingly gorgeous, a heart that I yearn in every dream and every wish.

Perhaps White Witch would think I am silly, but she, as cold as ice, would probably never understand. She would probably live forever in an ice-capped world all by her lonely self, ruling her kingdom in dictatorship. Or she would probably exist in a certain space all alone, waiting for her loyal servants to set her free with human blood.

Perhaps I am also waiting for someone to set me free. Perhaps.

A

瓦力 / Wall-E

我在過年時看了瓦力，這是2008年必看電影之一，但是我卻沒看（倒是進電影院看了黑暗騎士三次），我在2007年時就已經計畫要看這部電影，但是最後還是沒看。

不管怎樣，這部電影非常讚，瓦力和伊芙之間的情愫讓我相當感動，即使我依舊不懂機器人士怎麼學會這檔事的。我很高興我終於看了這部溫馨（又浪漫）的電影，同時也很慶幸沒有在電影一上映就去看，不然可能會發生很慘的情況。

I watched Wall-E during the Chinese New Year. This is one of the must-see movies in the year of 2008, but I missed it (and I surely saw The Dark Knight three times in theater). I had been planning to watch it even when it was still 2007, but I didn’t in the end.

Anyway, this movie was great. I was quite touched by the thing between Wall-E and Eva, even though I still don’t understand how robots learn the first thing about that thing. I am happy that I got to see this sweet (and romantic) movie finally, and at the same time feel lucky that I did not see this movie right when it was out in theater. Otherwise, something terrible might have happened to me.


(Spoiler Alert/以下有雷)
When you actually love someone, his business (or direction, if you’ve seen the movie) becomes yours. You will fight or even sacrifice yourself to fulfill it so that your lover will be able to finish the calling of his lifetime. Even a robot understands this.
當你真的愛某個人，他的事情（或者說「指令」，如果你有看電影的話）就會變成你的，你會奮鬥，甚至犧牲自己，就為了完成這件事，以便讓你的愛人能夠達成他這一生的天命，連機器人都瞭解這一點。

A

Ugly Betty / 醜女貝蒂

[auto-post][自動發文]

Ugly Betty is a popular TV show in the north America. It has had really good rating for the past few years. Currently they are playing season 3 in north America.

I started to watch this TV series about 2 months ago. Now I am almost done with season 2. At first I felt that the entire show would probably be moral teaching all the time, and how inteligence and brain are more important than a pretty face. As the show goes on, however, I started to see the show in a different perspecitve. Sometimes the different forms of love exemplified in the show realy moved me. It even almost made me cry on several occasions. I am such an emotional man. Ha!

Well, I think that if a comedy can make you cry as well, then it's a good comedy.

醜女貝蒂是北美洲相當熱門的電視影集，過去幾年的收視都相當好，目前北美洲播放的是第三季。

我大約兩個月前開始看這部影集，現在差不多快看完第二季了，起初我覺得這整個影集大概會說教意味濃厚，智商和腦筋比美貌還重要之類的教訓，不過當我愈看愈多集後，我對這部影集有了不一樣的觀點。這部電影所表現出各種類型的愛讓我很感動，甚至有幾次還讓我差一點哭了出來，我真是感情豐富啊，哈。

嗯，我認為喜劇如果也能讓你哭的話，那才是最好看的喜劇。

A

Goodbye to the Year of the RAT

and welcome to the Year of the Ox.

It's the last day of the year of the (stinky and gross) rat.

I hope in the year of the ox, everything will be bullish for me, like everything.

See ya rat, and here comes the MOO ~~

Happy Moo Year to everyone!

A

writers write; dreamers dream ...

I told DJ that I think I write better when I write about sadness, and then he started to laugh and call it nonsense.

**
Standing outside the room, I see you, among the cheering crowds and roaring audience inside the room, perform the usual tricks and do the fascinating moves. As one who does not participate in the scene, and as one who only stands outside, I feel content enough to be able to see you do the things you enjoy and accomplish whatever it is you want to accomplish. I am proud, and I feel moved. Even though you are watching over the crowds, I know that you know I am smiling.

-

The problem is: the person described above is not me. I am, on the contrary, one of the participants, and one of the unnoticeable units that make up the entire building-rocking scene. I do not know how my mood gets worked up by those words encouraging people to perform certain actions. I do not know how I started to enjoy this chaotic yet beautiful sequence of orderly moves. I only know that I love being there, filling my brain with hopeful thoughts that someday I can, in addition to being a part of the cheering crowds, also stand away from the scene, and watch as a happy and supporting lover...

I do feel I write better when I write about sadness.

A

巴黎味 / Le Goût de Paris

今天到台北東區216巷某條小弄裡的巴黎味餐廳吃晚餐，慶祝DJ的生日。

這間餐廳是我同事推薦的法國料理，他說是比較平價一點的正統法國料理，而且廚師還是米其林三星大廚呢。到現場後發現廚師是白人，我想應該是法國人吧。

我雖然沒有拍照，也不知道怎麼形容食物，不過我非常喜歡他們的料理，每道菜都很小（典型的法國料理），味道都很好，非常可口。

一份套餐約一千元出頭，比橄欖樹小館（Le Bistro de l'Olivier）還便宜一些。另外，巴黎味餐廳裡面的感覺比較寬敞，橄欖樹感覺就小了一點，沒什麼餐廳的感覺，倒比較像是某人家裏的飯廳，不過都很好吃就是了。

A

Yes Man / 沒問題先生 （No Spoiler / 無雷）

今天忽然想看電影，原本有三部想看，不知道選哪部，但是因為<墨水心>和<新娘大作戰>都要等到三點之後才有場次，所以就直接選<沒問題先生>。

由於金凱瑞近年的電影經常不好看，所以當我走進放映廳時，一直到電影開始幾分鐘，都還是懷著忐忑不安的情緒，不過等到電影切入主題後，我終於比較放心了一點，而且電影一直到最後結尾，除了好笑以外，也充滿許多發人深省的地方，非常適合大家去看，看完會覺得應該要對自己的人生多放手一搏。

我覺得我自己似乎也欠缺那種冒險挑戰的精神吧，很多事情都因為「覺得」自己不敢，或是害怕「自己設想的」結果，所以就決定不做了，不知道我因此錯失多少良機。我想或許我也該試試那種凡事皆說「yes」的精神，或許這樣我就會經歷更多奇妙的事件。

講到這裡，讓我非常想做一件這幾個月一直想做的事，但是這會涉及到別人的反應......真困難啊...

推薦生活無趣的人來看這部電影。

A

Happy Birthday to DJ

It's DJ's birthday today so I am wishing him a happy birthday.

A

復原

去年結束的感情，我想傷痕已經大致復原了吧，那種「過盡千帆皆不是」的感覺已經逐漸消逝了。

他還一直鼓勵我去認識新朋友，催促我去跟其他人交往，但是我都沒什麼進展，頂多零星認識幾個人，吃過飯或打過招呼後，就沒有下文了。

現在的我除了還是想認識些可以成為好朋友的人以外，突然有種想找對象的渴望，只是......當自己身處感情中時，不管遇到多帥的肌肉帥哥都心如止水，純欣賞就好；但是等到自己變單身時，肌肉帥哥卻……嗯…繼續等待吧，還是說有什麼奇襲之道呢？。

A

2008年超級惡搞電影「Meet the Spartans」片尾大合唱「I will Survive」（連到Youtube的畫面比較大）：



(這部電影惡搞得很好笑，有機會可以去看)
-

Nosebleed / 流鼻血 (!)

今天早上起來時，發現自己在流鼻血。

我想大概是因為睡眠不足吧，而不是因為昨夜或睡覺時有什麼令人血脈噴張的刺激，不過昨晚某件事情就足以讓人興奮，心跳加速，汗流不止。

今天早上確實覺得有點累，平常都是從台北車站走到辦公室的我，今天決定從西門走，這樣的距離比較短。

重慶南路上的陽光，讓事務所的空氣熱得像夏天，也讓情緒燥動了起來，鄰近的228公園應該會清涼許多吧。

I woke up this morning with a nosebleed.

I guess it was probably due to my lack of sleep, not any arousing stimulation last night or during sleep, although something last night was enough of an excitement. It raced up my heart beat and made me sweat non-stop.

I did feel a little bit exhausted this morning. Normally I walk from the Main Station to my office, but I decided to walk from Ximen today so that the walk would be shorter.

The sunlight on Chongqing South Road heats up my mood and the air in the firm. It must be cooler to be in the 228 Park just around the corner.

A

小鹿的啟示

細雨瀟瀟，成群的野鹿在蓊鬱的喬木間嬉鬧覓食。

幾隻小鹿追著蝴蝶，跑到林間空地玩耍，

增強的雨勢，讓胡亂奔跑的小鹿模糊了視線，

於是就撞在一起了……

（完）

啟示：小鹿看到喜歡的蝴蝶時，要靜下心來說話，不要慌到都撞在一起。但是如果小鹿喜歡撞的話，那就盡量撞吧。

A

definition: LUST

who would not want to trace the definition of your bulging muscles,
trained according to the most rigid standards
and clad with the most unnecessary piece of clothes in the world?

who would you grant the privilege to linger his fingers on your chest,
to surround your torso with equally strong arms,
to rest his palms on your butt cheeks,
and to bury his ecstatic face into the side of your neck,
where your carotid artery keeps pumping the most mesmerizing lustful scent into the air?

the definition of your body is lust.

*

赤壁下 / Red Cliff II

（若你知道三國的故事，這篇文章就無雷）

昨晚看了赤壁下，雖然說我沒看過赤壁上，但是對電影劇情完全不會有任何理解障礙。

三國演義幾個重要人物的故事，從小聽到大，所以很容易就進入劇情，只是有幾個比較次要的人物，需要稍微思考和回想一下，才知道是誰，例如孫權他妹妹尚香。

電影最重要的段落就是「草船借箭」、「孔明借東風」和「火燒連環船」。電影中的表現方式非常雄偉壯闊，我個人是還滿喜歡的，這些看了許多遍的故事，還是百看不厭吧(?)。

當我看到「黃蓋」這個人物出現時，就一直在等「周瑜打黃蓋」這個典故的出現，但是居然沒有，倒是滿失望的。不過電影中倒是出現了曹操最棒的創作「短歌行」，聽這首詩在電影中被念出來，有種怪異的感覺。

「瑜亮情節」在電影中沒怎麼表現出來，倒是讓人覺得有點「瑜亮情」。另外，當諸葛亮在掐指一算時，看起來就像在檢查手指有沒有長繭(?)，不知道這手勢在赤壁上是否有所交代，不然如果電影在其它國家上映時，外國人會不會不知道諸葛亮幹嘛在那裡欣賞自己手指，而且還掐來掐去。

總括來說，赤壁下挺好看的，據說比赤壁上還要精彩，因為有人說赤壁上就像二小時的預告片一樣，沒什麼精彩的地方。不過，諸葛亮在赤壁上的戲份好像比較多(?) ，所以我那位喜歡金城武的朋友比較喜歡赤壁上。

*

加州見聞錄01

今天一如往常，早上去加州上課，上課時很high，下課後很down，因為還是沒達成心願。

離開更衣間時，看到一位老先生正在穿衣服，穿衣服這動作沒什麼特別的，衣服品牌也沒什麼好強調的（好像是Calvin Klein的內褲？），最讓人感到不可思議的是，他穿起內褲時，居然把內褲往四周撐開一點，以便把上衣包進內褲裡。那情況並不像不小心紮進一點點的那種紮衣方式，而是還特地把上衣的下擺整個往下塞進內褲，然後繼續從內褲的大腿部份拉出來。那感覺就好像內褲下緣的四周多了一圈跟上衣同花色的小裙擺，而且內褲還因為裡面塞了上衣而皺摺不堪。嗯，那件上衣還真長。

真是奇怪的穿衣方式，不過或許是我孤陋寡聞吧。

self-esteem

What is self-esteem?

Is it the feeling I get when I realize someone I am interested in already has a boyfriend? Or the feeling I get when my ex even tells me that the boyfriend of the person I am interested in is much hotter than I am.

Is it the feeling I get when people I once chatted online with just walk past me, without bothering to say hello to me? Is it the fear of the pressure of socializing? Is it something that is falling into an bottomless abyss?

When I look into the mirror, I see a lonely face. There is nobody around to come behind me and hold me while looking into the mirror together.

Je veux être assez chaud comme lui, ou encore plus chaud. Je veux être lui, comme un homme qui attire tous les yeux dans le gymnase, un homme qui a un copain comme celui qui m'interesse.

A

Boyfriend -

While Avril Lavigne may sing her best damn song about how she wants to take the place of somebody's girlfriend, I wish I had the same kind of guts to make such bold actions.

Am I too coward? Or am I just too rule-abiding? Is there, however, any rule in a game of relationship? If there is any rule, why do people break up when nobody breaks the rule? Well, I am not gonna dig too deep into such brain-hurting philosophical question.

I just want to be bolder and more capable of making any moves. Why am I so inert? Or I am just not experienced enough? But who needs experience if he can have a stable and lifetime relationship?

Avril Lavigne's Girlfriend music video is prohibited from embedding.
Click the link here to enjoy the music:

Girlfriend - Avril Lavigne
I can see the way,
I see the way you look at me.
And even when you look away I know you think of me.
I know you talk about me all the time again and again

為賦新辭強說愁 / 醉翁之意不在酒

有什麼好煩惱的？不懂。

距離心碎的日子滿週年，還剩不到三個月，轉眼就要一年了。然而西洋情人節卻靜靜潛伏著，伺機亮出藏好的匕首，用力往我心窩捅去。月曆上多寫幾個字的日子，跟其它日子有何不同呢？不懂。但是也因為那次的心碎，讓我體驗了過去五年多錯過的事情。

2008年四月搬到西門的夾層套房住（超級新的大樓說），情緒超級低落的我，除了上班和健身房，就是窩在家裏。一段時間後，居然就跟大學畢業後甚少聯絡的同學重新聯絡了起來，他們陪我度過許多心情差的日子，尤其要特別感謝搞電影的那位（應該聽了不少我的瘋言亂語）。

接著還認識了大學時沒能認識的社長大人，雖然跟他在同一間大學讀大學部，又在同一間大學讀研究所，但是還是沒能在學校認識。許多光陸怪離的問題都可以問他，例如：不敢上Body Combat要怎麼辦？他就會說：走進教室就行了。

於是我走進了教室。

在西門住了一段時間後，愈來愈討厭自己住的地方，受不了樓上夾層的惡鄰，讓我甘願賠錢也要搬到別的地方住，想到說我其實住西門，倒是還滿常跑東區的，於是就在東區找地方住，雖然離工作遠了點，但是環境感覺好多了，也可以讓自己遠離心情低落時居住的爛地方。

於是我搬到了東區。

剛開始工作時，比較常出沒的地方是台北101附近，因為公司就在那邊。在那裡工作一年多的時間裡，很少到忠孝東路商圈逛，是後來換健身房後，才比較常出沒在這神奇的忠孝東路商圈。

搬到東區後，讓人心情愉快不少，而且週日早上還能從容徒步出門 :P。於是我就幾乎很少再踏進西門健身房，雖說下班後只要走個15分鐘，就可以抵達西門健身房，但是還是很少去，寧願回東區再進健身房。嗯，我想，偶爾時間可以配合的話，還是去西門一下好了，幾週前的西門全新體驗其實超棒的，讓人心情愉快，像小鹿一樣(?)，呵呵。

想到這裡，頓時覺得心情好了起來，哈。

Amazed - Lonestar

This is a song I like a lot lately.
I hope I have somebody to sing it to, and somebody to sing it to me.



I don't know how you do what you do
I'm so in love with you, it just keeps getting better
I wanna spend the rest of my life with you by my side
Forever and ever
Every little thing that you do
Baby I'm amazed by you

邂逅

時間：2007年11月2日星期五中午時分
地點：信義區某壽險公司

一如往常，我自個搭電梯下樓，外出吃飯，心裡盤算著待會該吃什麼，盤算著下午要做的工作

電梯到了一樓，門一打開，迎面而來的景象驚為天人：我先前看過的男模參賽者就站在電梯外，手裡還搬著東西。腦中的思緒，立刻被打散。

他的樣子，我在網路上看過許多次，那令人懾迷的自介。一定不會錯，就是他。但是害羞的我，又能怎樣呢。

於是我一如往常地走出電梯，不清楚自己臉上的表情是喜悅還是吃驚，同時又很想轉身，再次進入電梯間，跟著上樓。不過我還是繼續往外走，尋覓午餐的地點

不知道他到底來這裡做什麼，不知道自己是否看起來很蠢。

已經一年多了...

Boss Bottled

Boss Bottled is my favorite eau de toilette. I knew about this fragrance when I was about 18 years old(?), some time before my graduation from high school. I was in the airport in Italy with my mother, and we were having so much fun trying all kinds of fragrances. I decided I liked this one the most, but I bought D & G Masculine in the end. This bottle of my very first eau de toilette has been sitting on my shelf since then, still full.

There is a sale on fragrances and body care products close to my gym so I went there and took a look. I decided to buy Boss Bottled and started to use some once in a while. I REALLY REALLY love this smell. HMMMM... by the way I also love the smell of my Body Shop lavender shower gel and L'Occitane lavender body milk.

I found three commercials for Boss Bottled:

The first model for Boss Bottled is Alex Lundqvist, from Sweden. He is hot.


Another commercial with Alex:


The model in the current Boss Bottled commercial is Gabriel Aubry, from Montreal. He is not as hot as Alex.

exchange of words

No words were exchanged because both people were reading and enjoying their breakfast as people who know each other for a long time do not need to have conversations all the time.

No words were exchanged because one of them was angry at the other one's sadness, and the other didn't want to make the angry one even angrier all the while wondering if anger, instead of consolation, was the right reaction to another's sadness

No words were exchanged because phone connection was bad. One of them was having fun with several new people brought home by a friend, whereas the other was standing among millions of strangers, waiting for the moment to arrive.

No words were exchanged because they have different mother tongues, and one of them expects the other to speak the foreign language like a 100% native speaker. Well even native speakers of the same language do not understand each other completely all the time.

Listen - I hate this word. I do listen.
It's just that people in the movies and TV series speak much more clearly, and I can also turn the volume up. Even so, it's also possible (and it happens) that native speakers do not understand what some people in the movies or TV series say.

Patience wins the game.

I try to clam myself down, but it feels like I keep contradicting myself by trying to calm and suppress the rushing agitation down within. My heart rate and my breathing have been quite fast lately and it's not normal. When I lie down on my bed every night, I feel that the air that I breathe in always tries to escape from me as quickly as possible, and never reaches my lungs. So I will try to breathe deeply to smooth my breathing speed, but it only works for a second and then the air is reluctant to go inside my body again. Then I feel my pulse and count my heart rate. Well, it's still faster than normal.

It's disturbing.

2009年第三天

連假的第三天了，這幾天過得超無聊，沒辦法運動，頂多跟朋友吃飯，看影集，打電腦遊戲。好久沒出國玩了…

六年來，第一次跨年沒人陪。
雖然說今年的101煙火確實不好看，但是如果我不是單身的話，如果有人陪的話，即使煙火再爛，即使沒有煙火可以看，即使窩在家裏睡覺，都能讓人感到幸福。
我超愛看煙火的，但是我超討厭自己一個人看煙火。
去年的大稻埕煙火是自己一個人看，跨年煙火也是自己一個人看。

想認識的人不知道想不想認識我。
想不想每年陪我看煙火。

希望。

DISTURBIA

It's the second day of 2009, and I am writing this blog entry, listening to Rihanna's Disturbia all the while wishing I were doing something else in the outdoor, with someone.

It has been cold for two days. I watched the fireworks at Taipei 101 by myself as the year turned into 2009. I didn't hug anyone or kiss anyone this time. I could have had gone to bed, but I still went to see the fireworks because I love watching fireworks. Many people went to see fireworks in couples or in groups. As soon as the fireworks ended, I turned my back on Taipei 101 and hurried out of the SYS Memorial Hall through hugging crowds, not wanting to be around them.

I went to the gym this morning to did some pedalling for 30 minutes, on the machine that would keep your upper body upright and still. I haven't worked out for almost 3 weeks. I miss working out and the sweat.

I missed some parties these past two weeks because I cannot exercise or drink alcohol. Well, I probably would still be too coward to go by myself if I had not had the keloid scar removal operation.

I envy those who are accompanied by their loved one at times when they need to be accompanied, weather happy or sad, or simply killing time.

Happy New Year.

*