I told DJ that I think I write better when I write about sadness, and then he started to laugh and call it nonsense.
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Standing outside the room, I see you, among the cheering crowds and roaring audience inside the room, perform the usual tricks and do the fascinating moves. As one who does not participate in the scene, and as one who only stands outside, I feel content enough to be able to see you do the things you enjoy and accomplish whatever it is you want to accomplish. I am proud, and I feel moved. Even though you are watching over the crowds, I know that you know I am smiling.
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The problem is: the person described above is not me. I am, on the contrary, one of the participants, and one of the unnoticeable units that make up the entire building-rocking scene. I do not know how my mood gets worked up by those words encouraging people to perform certain actions. I do not know how I started to enjoy this chaotic yet beautiful sequence of orderly moves. I only know that I love being there, filling my brain with hopeful thoughts that someday I can, in addition to being a part of the cheering crowds, also stand away from the scene, and watch as a happy and supporting lover...
I do feel I write better when I write about sadness.
A
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