Last Day of 2008

The year ends in a cold day, like every other ones, but this year it's much much colder because no one will hold me through the night.

I decided not to bring my umbrella when I left for my work in the morning. Then I bought a cheap small blue umbrella at a convenience store on my way from the MRT to my office. I used it for a few minutes while crossing the street, and then I closed it for the rest of the walk. It was only drizzling.

I love fireworks. The most memorable ones I've seen is the ones in Montmorency Falls Park in Quebec City in 2005. The fireworks were arranged all around the waterfalls and the riverbed. With the music and the light effects, everything seemed unreal. I was there to see the fireworks in summer, but it was chilly that night.

What is it like to be in his shoes? What does it feel like to watch someone you love to pursue his dreams and achieve his goals? What does it feel like when your support becomes his motivation? On the other hand, what does it feel like to achieve my goals with the support of my love?

There are things I feel like doing, but I am afraid of the consequences. I never do those things, as a result. Will I regret my decisions when I am old?


to be continued

Elegy to 2008

Shit happens and happened.

A happy and romantic 2009 shall come in no time.

All I want for Christmas is YOU

My favorite Christmas song:



I don't want a lot for Christmas
There's just one thing I need
I don't care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is...
You

YOU YOU YOU...

Scar removal

The cut I received almost 6 months ago had formed an ugly reddish keloid scar of about 3 cms in length on my chest. It irritated and itched once in a while.

Since I am not susceptible to keloid scar, the doctor concluded that it was due to my reckless care of the cut in summer, and probably too much sunlight on the scarred area. Considering the doctor's suggestion to remove it, I consulted another dermatologist in another hospital, who also gave me the same advice. With two doctors holding the same opinion, I decided to remove this ugly scar. The second doctor even said it would have been better to receive the operation in winter. Oh well...

Now in order to help the scar form in a normal and less conspicuous way, I have to try not to stretch my chest skin too much. In other words, I have to stop working out for some time, especially training for pectorals, which would stretch my chest skin a lot.. like a lot. Oh my poor pectorals! I have to let you take a rest for a month, or even longer. I already feel painful from not being able to move my arms, my torso and my neck freely these days, and I also have to stop working out!!!

Here is the plan: I will start working out my legs again after 15 days. Then I will start working out my arms and attending body combat classes again after 22 days, but I will only use lighter weights and punch more gently. After 28 days, I will... well... we will see. But I know I will have started jogging then.

A few weeks without exercise is such a great sin!!!!

-

巴黎，賽啦！/ A Year in the Merde

巴黎，賽啦！的中文版，即將於2009年1月出版。

我在看這本書的時候，從頭笑到尾。作者Stephen Clarke引人發噱的功力真不是蓋的，
只不過有些涉及英國和法國語言和文化的笑點，可能中文讀者比較不能意會了。

這本書真的超好看也超好笑，出版後趕快去買（神秘笑容）。

Twilight / 暮光之城

So I went to see Twilight last night. I didn't expect it to be good because the trailer seemed just like another The Covenant.

After seeing the movie, I changed my opinion of this cute movie.

To be continued.... i will write more later... haha

The Grapes are sour or sweet?

I can't even convince myself that the grapes are sour because they smell unbearably sweet.
All I can do is stare at them as somebody else enjoys them.

Why do these grapes belong to somebody already?
I feel down, and spend days and nights trying to answer this ever more depressing question, and trying to define my existence with the pursuit of any glimpse of the grapes. I even cheer a little when the wind blows the vines lower a little bit, but still off-limits to me.

I am starving so I am cranky and sad. I feel like crying. I want those grapes.

--
As a matter of fact, grapes taste better when they are a little sour.

Love Affair

It has been a long time since I listened to Kylie Minogue's Love Affair, a song in the album "Fever." This song didn't make it to a single release, but it was still a terrific song.

I think the first time I wanted to find out who sings "In your eyes" was when I was in Banana Cafe, Paris, 2002, where the speakers shouted out loud this mesmerizing melody. My friend told me about Kylie Minogue and some of her hit songs, which I had heard of but never knew who the singer was.

After returning to Taiwan from that wild summer in France, I got Kylie's Fever and listened to the songs. In addition to the most popular tunes in this album, I also like "Come into my world" and "Love Affair." The last time, as I can recall, I listened to these two songs, I was single, and now I am single again, and I am listening to these songs again.

Maybe the fact I am listening to those two songs again is a prelude to something romantic to come, just like the last time in the end of 2002. Well, the end of 2008 is coming soon, but where is the romance?

*

幻想

總是會想像自己像電影中瀟灑大方的男主角，不管身到何處，總是能輕鬆自如地跟中意的對象搭訕聊天，喝杯酒，跳支舞，看電影，漫步街頭之類的情節（上床那段雖然也很吸引人，只是我還算有點保守... ！?），然後發展出一段戀情，但是跟電影不太一樣的是，我想像的會是一段長久的感情關係，直到生離死別，至死不渝。

我也想這麼做，但是我內心的渴望和大腦的矜持常常互相衝突，總是會有種放不下的隔閡擋在面前，怕這個怕那個的，沒辦法為了認識人而認識人，也不是說我不敢跟他人互動，因為我會因為我點的 Haagen Dazs 飲料出現一塊塑膠片，而要求店家補償，於是那餐免費（WTF?）；我可以在22歲時，在巴黎的酒吧跟陌生人跳舞（應該有點醉）；19歲時，在紐約跟渡輪售票員說我未滿十八歲，要買兒童票，結果護照洩了底。

為了認識人而認識人，讓我感到恐慌，不知道自己有什麼能耐會讓對方也想認識自己，不知道對方會不會以為我別有意圖，不知道我是否有辦法隨意閒聊，讓對方感興趣，很多的不知道。

雖然說很多事情是緣份，但是自己應該也需要給緣份推一把，好好利用緣份帶來的機會。這種良機，我應該錯過了很多次，而且應該都是敗在自己的懦弱吧。別人是近鄉情怯，我是近「菜」情怯，這樣講好像有點物化中意的對象，不過倒是滿生動的。

一切仍需努力，都已經27歲了，居然連小朋友最擅長的事情都做不到。

...

一定要做到

我一定要變得比較外向，比較有膽一點；我一定要變得比較圓融，比較會說話一點。

唉...不過遇到令人害羞的時候(?)，不管平常有多外向，都還是吐不出一個字。

做翻譯的，居然沒膽跟他人聊天？（這好像沒因果關係... 而且我是做筆譯的，沒在口譯）

到底是在怕什麼？

到底要怎麼練習呢？我也不知道，即使哪天突然有了膽量，找個沒聊過天的人說話，如果對方沒有以友善態度回應，所有醞釀已久的勇氣和膽量，應該又會退回原點，然後又不敢再多做嘗試。

早知道大學時應該要多多在學校裡跟陌生同學練習聊天（！？），不過話又說回來，如果我真的這樣做的話，應該會變成校園怪咖，嗯，那我寧願沒認識什麼人，也不要變成怪人。

我還真是矛盾...唉...

*

Kylie Minogue X Tour 2008

So I went to Kylie's concert last night, and it was awesome. The atmosphere was terrific with many many people dancing to the beats. I think probably over 90% of the audience were men, and 99% of the men were gay.

One really funny thing was: when the big screen showed some photos of shirtless muscle men, the audience cheered and screamed.

It was a wonderful concert experience.

Birthday

Well... it's my birthday today.
I hope my wishes will come true today;
my fears will be cleared; my angers will be appeased; and my sadness will be comforted.
my strength will persevere; my goodness will triumph; and my happiness will last;
my love endures.

finally, the person I am interested in will be interested in me.

**

就是明天了

一年一度的12月2日就在明天了。
今天來留個言紀念一下。
...