Last Day of 2008

The year ends in a cold day, like every other ones, but this year it's much much colder because no one will hold me through the night.

I decided not to bring my umbrella when I left for my work in the morning. Then I bought a cheap small blue umbrella at a convenience store on my way from the MRT to my office. I used it for a few minutes while crossing the street, and then I closed it for the rest of the walk. It was only drizzling.

I love fireworks. The most memorable ones I've seen is the ones in Montmorency Falls Park in Quebec City in 2005. The fireworks were arranged all around the waterfalls and the riverbed. With the music and the light effects, everything seemed unreal. I was there to see the fireworks in summer, but it was chilly that night.

What is it like to be in his shoes? What does it feel like to watch someone you love to pursue his dreams and achieve his goals? What does it feel like when your support becomes his motivation? On the other hand, what does it feel like to achieve my goals with the support of my love?

There are things I feel like doing, but I am afraid of the consequences. I never do those things, as a result. Will I regret my decisions when I am old?


to be continued

Elegy to 2008

Shit happens and happened.

A happy and romantic 2009 shall come in no time.

All I want for Christmas is YOU

My favorite Christmas song:



I don't want a lot for Christmas
There's just one thing I need
I don't care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is...
You

YOU YOU YOU...

Scar removal

The cut I received almost 6 months ago had formed an ugly reddish keloid scar of about 3 cms in length on my chest. It irritated and itched once in a while.

Since I am not susceptible to keloid scar, the doctor concluded that it was due to my reckless care of the cut in summer, and probably too much sunlight on the scarred area. Considering the doctor's suggestion to remove it, I consulted another dermatologist in another hospital, who also gave me the same advice. With two doctors holding the same opinion, I decided to remove this ugly scar. The second doctor even said it would have been better to receive the operation in winter. Oh well...

Now in order to help the scar form in a normal and less conspicuous way, I have to try not to stretch my chest skin too much. In other words, I have to stop working out for some time, especially training for pectorals, which would stretch my chest skin a lot.. like a lot. Oh my poor pectorals! I have to let you take a rest for a month, or even longer. I already feel painful from not being able to move my arms, my torso and my neck freely these days, and I also have to stop working out!!!

Here is the plan: I will start working out my legs again after 15 days. Then I will start working out my arms and attending body combat classes again after 22 days, but I will only use lighter weights and punch more gently. After 28 days, I will... well... we will see. But I know I will have started jogging then.

A few weeks without exercise is such a great sin!!!!

-

巴黎，賽啦！/ A Year in the Merde

巴黎，賽啦！的中文版，即將於2009年1月出版。

我在看這本書的時候，從頭笑到尾。作者Stephen Clarke引人發噱的功力真不是蓋的，
只不過有些涉及英國和法國語言和文化的笑點，可能中文讀者比較不能意會了。

這本書真的超好看也超好笑，出版後趕快去買（神秘笑容）。

Twilight / 暮光之城

So I went to see Twilight last night. I didn't expect it to be good because the trailer seemed just like another The Covenant.

After seeing the movie, I changed my opinion of this cute movie.

To be continued.... i will write more later... haha

The Grapes are sour or sweet?

I can't even convince myself that the grapes are sour because they smell unbearably sweet.
All I can do is stare at them as somebody else enjoys them.

Why do these grapes belong to somebody already?
I feel down, and spend days and nights trying to answer this ever more depressing question, and trying to define my existence with the pursuit of any glimpse of the grapes. I even cheer a little when the wind blows the vines lower a little bit, but still off-limits to me.

I am starving so I am cranky and sad. I feel like crying. I want those grapes.

--
As a matter of fact, grapes taste better when they are a little sour.

Love Affair

It has been a long time since I listened to Kylie Minogue's Love Affair, a song in the album "Fever." This song didn't make it to a single release, but it was still a terrific song.

I think the first time I wanted to find out who sings "In your eyes" was when I was in Banana Cafe, Paris, 2002, where the speakers shouted out loud this mesmerizing melody. My friend told me about Kylie Minogue and some of her hit songs, which I had heard of but never knew who the singer was.

After returning to Taiwan from that wild summer in France, I got Kylie's Fever and listened to the songs. In addition to the most popular tunes in this album, I also like "Come into my world" and "Love Affair." The last time, as I can recall, I listened to these two songs, I was single, and now I am single again, and I am listening to these songs again.

Maybe the fact I am listening to those two songs again is a prelude to something romantic to come, just like the last time in the end of 2002. Well, the end of 2008 is coming soon, but where is the romance?

*

幻想

總是會想像自己像電影中瀟灑大方的男主角，不管身到何處，總是能輕鬆自如地跟中意的對象搭訕聊天，喝杯酒，跳支舞，看電影，漫步街頭之類的情節（上床那段雖然也很吸引人，只是我還算有點保守... ！?），然後發展出一段戀情，但是跟電影不太一樣的是，我想像的會是一段長久的感情關係，直到生離死別，至死不渝。

我也想這麼做，但是我內心的渴望和大腦的矜持常常互相衝突，總是會有種放不下的隔閡擋在面前，怕這個怕那個的，沒辦法為了認識人而認識人，也不是說我不敢跟他人互動，因為我會因為我點的 Haagen Dazs 飲料出現一塊塑膠片，而要求店家補償，於是那餐免費（WTF?）；我可以在22歲時，在巴黎的酒吧跟陌生人跳舞（應該有點醉）；19歲時，在紐約跟渡輪售票員說我未滿十八歲，要買兒童票，結果護照洩了底。

為了認識人而認識人，讓我感到恐慌，不知道自己有什麼能耐會讓對方也想認識自己，不知道對方會不會以為我別有意圖，不知道我是否有辦法隨意閒聊，讓對方感興趣，很多的不知道。

雖然說很多事情是緣份，但是自己應該也需要給緣份推一把，好好利用緣份帶來的機會。這種良機，我應該錯過了很多次，而且應該都是敗在自己的懦弱吧。別人是近鄉情怯，我是近「菜」情怯，這樣講好像有點物化中意的對象，不過倒是滿生動的。

一切仍需努力，都已經27歲了，居然連小朋友最擅長的事情都做不到。

...

一定要做到

我一定要變得比較外向，比較有膽一點；我一定要變得比較圓融，比較會說話一點。

唉...不過遇到令人害羞的時候(?)，不管平常有多外向，都還是吐不出一個字。

做翻譯的，居然沒膽跟他人聊天？（這好像沒因果關係... 而且我是做筆譯的，沒在口譯）

到底是在怕什麼？

到底要怎麼練習呢？我也不知道，即使哪天突然有了膽量，找個沒聊過天的人說話，如果對方沒有以友善態度回應，所有醞釀已久的勇氣和膽量，應該又會退回原點，然後又不敢再多做嘗試。

早知道大學時應該要多多在學校裡跟陌生同學練習聊天（！？），不過話又說回來，如果我真的這樣做的話，應該會變成校園怪咖，嗯，那我寧願沒認識什麼人，也不要變成怪人。

我還真是矛盾...唉...

*

Kylie Minogue X Tour 2008

So I went to Kylie's concert last night, and it was awesome. The atmosphere was terrific with many many people dancing to the beats. I think probably over 90% of the audience were men, and 99% of the men were gay.

One really funny thing was: when the big screen showed some photos of shirtless muscle men, the audience cheered and screamed.

It was a wonderful concert experience.

Birthday

Well... it's my birthday today.
I hope my wishes will come true today;
my fears will be cleared; my angers will be appeased; and my sadness will be comforted.
my strength will persevere; my goodness will triumph; and my happiness will last;
my love endures.

finally, the person I am interested in will be interested in me.

**

就是明天了

一年一度的12月2日就在明天了。
今天來留個言紀念一下。
...

I hid this post

這篇抱怨文就這麼隱藏起來了。
還是盡量不要留這種負面情緒的文章好了。

....

B-Day coming in a few days

I never actually made any wishes for my birthdays before. One of the wishes in the past did not even come true this year. That bubble just bursted.

What I want for my birthday this year is simple, something without a price tag. (Isn't that what i always want every year?)

For some people, it seems that it's more difficult (or unceremonious) to offer things without a price tag. They prefer to give things available in stores. Well, I like those, too, but I love even more those that money cannot buy. Am I being cheesy here?

Anyway... a hot, sexy, cute, loving boyfriend with all the good qualities and some tolerable drawbacks, plus a lifetime guarantee will definitely make it to the top of my birthday wish list.


**

Body Combat one more time

So my gym laucned the latest Body Combat 38, and I happened to attend the very first class where they started teaching BC38.

Well, the new moves were very simple this time, compared with some of the old ones we did in class for the past few weeks. What's more exhausting was that you had to keep repeating the same kick, or punch, or anything again and again till you go t sore. I even sort of sprained my thigh when doing the side kicks following two knee kicks. I also almost fell down on myself, trying to keep my body balanced while doing the kicks.

I felt bored very quickly by these new moves in the first two classes. However, I didn't feel bored at all in my third class doing BC38 on Sunday morning. As usual, it was taught by the ever-hotter instructor. Since I did BC 38 twice in the previous two days already, I felt really exhausted after the third class.

A hot instructor can turn any boring class into a good one... LOL..


p.s. I didn't have any silly expression on my face this time.

*

The Egmont Group

Wow, this is the first time I am writing about something serious(or tedious/partisan/provocative/life-threatening?) on my blog.

The Egmont Group is an international anti-money laundering organization, and I am happy to find out that Taiwan is one of their members. (good job). They set up operational Financial Intelligence Units in 108 countries around the world. Of course we've got one in Taipei, too.

It is said that it is this international organization that discovered some irregular money transactions involving the former president of Taiwan, and notified Switzerland. Thus unrolled a series of events... well.. it's kind of boring to talk about this, so this is all I would write about it.

Go find out more about this organization on their website: http://www.egmontgroup.org/


*

Nice Quote

I just saw this nice quote from somewhere on the Internet. I don't know where it is originally from.

Never explain yourself to anyone.
Because the person who likes you doesn't need it,
and the person who dislikes you won't believe it.


but what about the person who doesn't know you yet ?
*

heartthrob

Well... I had an exciting and blushing (embarrassing) Sunday.

I almost bumped into the instructor in the morning before the class started.
And in the evening I did weights almost right besides the instructor.
It's not like I'd never done weights in the same gym with the instructor, but it's just the more often these coincidences happen, the more awkward and embarrassed I feel. I am such a loser, with no guts to meet people.

Right when I finished my training and stood up from the machine to leave, the instructor, who happened to be using the machine besides mine, looked at me and nodded a hello to me, and I blushingly nodded back, and, without a word, walked away with a silly expression on my face.

I am so dumb.

-

Turn Around + Si Demain + Total Eclipse of the Heart Lyrics

...

Et j'ai tant besoin de toi
Et j'ai tant besoin de ta voix
Je veux tomber dans tes bras
Je voudrais marcher dans tes pas

...

Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart
There's nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart
Once upon a time there was light in my life
But now there's only love in the dark
Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart

Happy Birthday

I don't think my sister comes here, but I still want to say a happy birthday to her on my blog.

I truly hope that in the future she won't have to spend her own birthdays, not a single one, by herself besides her computer...


**

A Jerk Will Never Get Hurt.

But a good man get hurts easily, especially a focused one.

When you say something horrible to a jerk, or when you decide to walk away from a jerk, he will just go find someone else, someone just as interchangeable as you, to spend time with, to do whatever they want together, without treating your criticisms or comments seriously. After some time, when the jerk is tired of the replacement, or several of other replacements, he may try contacting you again. You, on the other hand, have decided to ignore(or pretend to forget?) the bad memories that the jerk have brought you. You decide to talk to him again.

Without any surprise, the jerk hurts you again.. OUCH... he doesn't just hurt you, but even comes up with an explanation of why he hurts you again, a reason that only the jerks of the Jerkland can truly understand, and that hurts the good man even more.

-

The Punishment

The schizophrenic lier is treated with amicability.

I am schizophrenic, too, but I am left by myself, indulging in the two ends of the continuum, to love and to hate. I am forced to swim back and forth between these two more and more polarized ends. After a few months of training, I can finish one lap within a few seconds. My mind is torn from trying to swim towards both ends at the same time.

I am punished.

People should treat the ones they don't like as lousily as possible.

*

A Little Bit of Comfort

So I went to see A Little Bit of Comfort (aka. Quantum of Solace) yesterday. The movie was action-packed alright, and it's not related to quantum technology. That's all I can say about the sequel to Casino Royale.

I like Casino Royale better than Quantum of Solace because Casino Royale was more sophisticated and full of suspenses and twists. On the other hand, Quantum of Solace was more like a non-stop fighting movie. Where did the fancy gadgets and cars go in this James Bond movie?

At least there were still some amazing technologies in Casino Royale. Furthermore, Vespa (the woman in Casino Royale) was more intelligent than the woman in Quantum of Solace.

Well... it is still a nice movie for a weekend afternoon.

*

Heroes: Destiny Webisode

This "Create Your Hero" promo is finally going online soon on November 10.

The guy playing Santiago is hot. The special effect is cool, too. I like it in the trailer when the woman just suddenly became water.

Check out this link here:
http://heroesspoilers-odi.blogspot.com/2008/11/heroes-destiny-webisodes-first-promo.html

The Contradictory Yes/No

The weatherman tells you it will be sunny tomorrow, but it turns out to be a rainy day, or, even worse, a thunderstorm. The rail company tells you the train will arrive at 9:00, but it usually arrives much later. The doctor tells you the scar will fade in a few weeks, but it seems to get more and more swollen and red.

Water is shapeless and unpredictable.
You see, when the Greek god pours water out of his bucket, the water just splashes everywhere, running through every crack and hole on the ground, changing its shape and size till the gravity can no longer pull it further down.

The only way to tame water is to freeze it, not to heat it, for heating it will only make it even more agitated and wanting to be let loose into the sky. Freeze the water, please, while it is caught in the best container one can find. Make it stable. Make it predictable. Keep it cool.

When the temperature rises, or when the wild spirit frozen deep in the heart of that ice cube of whatever shape can no longer be guarded and secured, let the Greek archer know, please.

The archer will shoot his best arrow right into the cube, breaking it into thousands of pieces, but still keep every single piece of it. He will let them melt in his glass. He will then ask for Winter's help for the archer was born in Winter's arms, and re-freeze the water.

Hopefully, there will be a snowstorm soon, just as what the weatherman says.

--

Kenting

I had a lot of fun in Kenting last weekend with my company.

We stayed in the best hotel in Kenting and I really enjoyed my stay there. I swam almost everyday in the hotel pool, or just lay by the pool, daydreaming. I also did something adventurous: I went surfing for the first time in my life.

Well.... I didn't actually surf on the waves or anything. I just lay on the surfing board and pedalled with my arms out towards the sea and then towards the land. I repeated this exercise for hours. I also tried standing up, but then I just fell into the water. I was also hit by my board on the head several times. Ouch! It still hurts today.

I also hiked along the last section of the coast in Taiwan without an actual road. We had to cross a hill about 200 meters in height. There were several steep sections where we had to climb on ropes. It was a really good hike. It's a pity that they will construct a road here in a few months, ruining the last bit of the primitive coastal land in Taiwan.

西門 - 台北車站 - 台大醫院

上班地點在西門-台北車站-台大醫院站圍成的三角形之間，可至任一站搭車，算是相當方便。之前住西門町時，每天走路上班，早上可以從容地上班，中午還可以回家處理事情。

現在住東區，生活環境比西門町優良了許多，不過早上要比較早出門，儘管如此，還是覺得住東區比較值得，生活品質比較好，at least it's where the hot men hang out.

I don't miss Ximending at all... Oh well, my scooter is still parked there. I guess I have to bring it back some time. I can't just let it sit there like I did to my old bike in my university.

--

Disaster Movie

Here is another dumb movie I feel like seeing:

Disaster Movie:

The House Bunny / 女郎我最兔

Well... it is a funny movie... very funny.
Anna Faris's movies are usually dumb, but funny.

I felt like seeing this movie as soon as I saw the trailer.
Anyway, the plot itself is kind of simple and doesn't need too much brain to understand.

There are several actors worth mentioning in this movie: The guy playing Oliver is Tom Hanks's son. The girl wearing the iron bracket is the daughter of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore.

The funnies movie of the year, I think, is still Get Smart, though.

--

加州萬歲 / Long Live California

美國加州同性戀婚姻合法，台灣加州的會員們去結婚吧!
Same sex marriage is legal in California.
Members of California in Taiwan, go get married!
***
Well... this entry is not about same sex marriage.
I decided to buy life-time membership at California Fitness, and I put my words into action last night. After sitting at the desk with one of their salesman for over 3 hours, I could not at all make the membership any cheaper. The price was still the same as when I first got there. The only thing that was lowered was the monthly fee that D had to pay every month since he wants a monthly payment plan.

Thinking about the long-term benefits of having a life-time membership, and with D's encouragement and lowered monthly fee, I signed the contract in the end, like around 12:00 at night. I arranged the payment into 18 installments so that the bill would not be too high all at once.

Now I can only hope that California Fitness will live forever and ever, and they will always have new tricks/treats to entertain me.... hahaha

Paul - une boulangerie française ( a french bakery)

When I was in Paris few years ago, I went to a bakery called Paul several times to buy something to eat (I guess it tasted good, but I really don't remember now...)

Few weeks ago, I saw a big "PAUL" sign by Ren-ai Roundabout. It immediately reminded me of that French bakery. And it really is.

I went there yesterday to check out the store and found out that it was more than a bakery. It's a restaurant/cafe too, and there were people in line waiting for seats. Well, since I wasn't there to have lunch, I just lined up by the bakery side (you see, another lineup!). I didn't really do any research before going there so I just bought whatever I felt like trying. Two apple pies, one chocolate bread and one heart-shaped cookie(or bread?) cost over NTD300.

There are still other desserts and pastries that I haven't tried there, and I also want to try the restaurant too. I will go there again some time. Well... but maybe not so soon. haha

An analysis of 9 personalities

九型人格分析< /caption>

第五型	智慧型、觀察者、思想型、理性分析者、思考型 15%
第六型	忠誠型、忠誠型、尋找安全者、謹慎型 15%
第一型	完美主義者、完美型、改革者、改進型、秩序大使 13%
第七型	快樂主義型、豐富型、活躍型、創造可能者、享樂型 11%
第二型	助人者、全愛型、助人型、成就他人者、博愛型 10%
第八型	領袖型、能力型、挑戰者、保護者、權威型 10%
第四型	藝術型、浪漫者、自我型、憑感覺者 9%
第九型	和平型、和平者、和諧型、維持和諧者 9%
第三型	成就者、事業型、成就型、實踐型 8%

我的九型人格分析？

< /div>

235

I guess the bus I have been taking the most often is 235.

It passes by Zhongxiao Dunhua, S.Y.S. Memorial Hall, Wenchang St.(on An-he Rd.), Carnegie's, Far Eastern Plaza Hotel, Technology Building, NTNU, Guting MRT, Hengyang Rd., Ximen MRT, IKEA Xinzhuang branch, and Xinzhuang.... (not necessarily the name of the stops)

It's like wherever I move to, I am always within the route of this bus. It connects me with the world. It brings me to places I frequent. It carries me and sometimes someone else to our destinations, either in the mornings or at nights.

On 235, I have been happy, sad, angry, and crying. I have been filled with joy just as the bus was filled with happy crowds. I have been depleted of hope just as the passengers were one by one getting off the bus, leaving me alone on the dimly lit late night bus.

I went to school on it. I went home on it. I went to the gym on it. I listened to music on it. I sat with my man on it. I went out for a date on it.

I love 235 for it's convenience and itinerary.
I hate 235 when I have to wait for over 30 minutes and none of it has come by.

--

Eagle Eye

Shia LaBeouf surely looks more sophisticated and hotter in Eagle Eye than in Transformers, though at the age of 23 (born in 1986).

The movie was exciting, the pace of the movie and the suspense throughout the movie were all good, but the theme is nothing new. Well... I can't talk much about the theme here. Otherwise it will become a spoiler. But it is really amazing how people are watched and monitored in their daily life.

New Place, Better Life

I just moved to a new suite room in the east district of Taipei. It's close to the branch of the gym I frequent and prefer. The room is smaller and seems like a hotel room. I am still trying to get used to the size of the new bed, too. It's smaller. I have been sleeping on a double bed (even a queen size bed for a few years) so I need some time to get used to a shrunk bed.

This small room has one advantage: big balcony. The balcony can basically fit a single bed without problem. It is a nice balcony, with a view of low skyline and the top of Taipei 101. It is not a useful place, however, except for hanging the laundry to dry. I would love to put a table and two chairs on the balcony, and then sit there and have a drink and stuff. I know I will not do that very often even after I actually put a table and chairs there.

However, the landlord just offered me a solution to the size problem. The biggest room will be available for rent at the end of this month. I can take that room instead if I am willing to pay more. Well... a bigger room and a bigger bed and a bigger bathroom!!! Hmmmm... does it worth the extra rent to get a bigger room? Well... I know I will have to sacrifice the balcony of the small room if I want to move to the bigger room. I know a bigger bed can fit 2 people better, but ...

We will see... hahaha

decision to move

Well... I've made up my mind to move out of this place I am living to stay as far away as possible to the tap-dancing hippopotamus at nights.

I've looked at some independent suites around the east Taipei area, but I haven't found any that I like. So I guess I will have to keep looking. I still have about 3 weeks before moving out of this hippo-haunted box, resounded with the sounds of door opening and closing, stair-climbing, walking and, above all, banging on the ceiling floor. It will be a great relief to move out of this regular late-night torture. For the past few months, I had to be extremely exhausted and sleepy to be able to ignore the late-night tapping/banging sounds coming from above.

Oh well... nicer residential area, here I come!!!

Parade

Well, it was the 6th Taipei Pride Parade last Saturday, and I went to the parade to sort of walk with them on the sidewalk, and mostly to look at the people and take pictures of them.

It was rainning on that day becase a typhoon was coming (and this typhoon gave us two days off, though one of them fell on a Sunday), but there were still a lot of people joinin the parade. I saw somebody I met before in the parade, too. One of them was carrying balloons of 6 colors so I borrowed the balloons from him and asked him to take a picture of me with those balloons.

I only walked with the parade for a short distance, and then I went back to the gym to exercise. The parade continued on to Taipei City Hall where they put on shows after the parade.

It seemed that whenever there was a pride parade in Taipei, there would usually be some bigger news that shadowed the parade. Anyway, it was fun to join the parade.

The Bubble

The movie "The Bubble" had good review when it was screened during the Taipei Film Festival so I decided to see this movie when it was out in theater. The box office was not good, though, due to a rave about Cape No. 7 in the past few weeks. Several foreign films that would have received a greater audience, have been forced out of the theater much sooner than expected. Good job Cape No. 7. There aren't really any good foreign movies that I really want to see in theater now anyway except The Bubble (this is me being selfish).

This Hebrew-speaking (sometimes Arabic-speaking) film is directed by Eytan Fox, who also directed Walk on Water and Yossi and Jagger. It is a melange of comedy and tensions. It highlights the never-ending conflicts between the Jewish people and Arabic people in Israel, as well as a love people from these two sides can have for each other, even between two men.

Reality hurts, I have to say this after seeing the movie. Sometimes there is something we can never change in ourselves. It is predestined in our lives. We may be able to change it and run away from it, but when we are faced with the cruelty of the reality, we may give in to it, and follow the path the destiny has paved for us. Then the bubble bursts.

Happiness of Waiting

I like the feeling of having somebody wait for me at home when I finish my work and workout every day, or the feeling of waiting at home for him.

I like going to his workplace a few minutes before he finishes his work and waiting outside so that we can go have dinner or do something together for the evening. I like leaving my work, to see him standing outside the door, presenting to me his plan for the evening.

I like waking up early in the morning, and then sit on the bed, looking at him and waiting for him to wake up. I like to open my eyes in the morning to see him, already awake, giving me a big smile as bidding a good morning to me.

I like waiting for him to finish what he has to do in the evening so that we can go to bed together.

I like waiting with him at a good restaurant. I like waiting with him at the ticketing window for any good movie/show we are going to enjoy. I like waiting with him for the bus/MRT/train. I like waiting with him for the sun to rise, and for the night to fall.

It is the happiness of waiting, and I am waiting for happiness.

Loneliness

Working out among many others in the gym, I felt lonely.

Checking out hot guys can't seem to cheer me up either, not even the hot BC instructor that happened to be there as a substitute instructor for the night class.

I am tired of checking out hot guys. There is no point of doing that. Being checked out by any of the guys I find hot may probably make me skip a heartbeat, but so what? None of this can make me feel happy, secure, and calm.

My emotions get stirred up even more when I see the boyfriend of any of the hot guys shows up. The laughters they share, the tears they dry for the other, the feeling of belonging deep rooted in their heart, the trust and the pride in each other and so on are something I long for.

The boyfriend of the hot instructor was standing outside of the classroom, surely smiling at and feeling proud of the man doing the moves on the platform in the front of a crowded classroom.

It was late so I went back to my place. I lay down on the bed, trying really hard to fall asleep.

-

Body Combat Instructor

Well... I went to a body combat class on Saturday afternoon, expecting to see the most popular instructor in the gym, only to find that it was a substitute instructor, and a woman, too. It's not that I have anything against a woman instructor, but I'd rather see a hot male body giving body combat instructions. That's the point of attending body combat classes.

Since the classroom was still packed with regular attendees of the original gym members, the air inside the room was very bad and the temperature was very high. I also didn't feel energized or high enough in a class NOT taught by a hot instructor.

--
After arriving at Taipei at around 13:45 on Sunday, I decided to try the body combat class in another branch of the gym that would start at 14:30. I was definitely in a rush to get things ready. I had to run home to put things away and bring gym clothes with me and stuff.

I made it to the classroom like about 5 minutes before the class started. The classroom was already filled with people, but still not as many as the other classroom. There are also like 3 or 4 giant pillars right in front of the platform so when the class started, it was quite difficult to look at the instructor, to learn what he was teaching and explaining.

Anyhow, the class was good because the songs and moves taught in this class were totally different from the ones I had learnt before. I was kind of nervous when I had to learn all the new moves that were old to other people. Anyway, since the instructor was hot, though blocked by the giant pillars once in a while, I still had fun learning the new and exciting moves. I made mistakes fairly often though.

**
It was my first time to attend body combat classes two days in a row. I felt very tired afterwards, but I felt really really relieved and relaxed after the class because I could punch and kick really hard in class.

--

醋

吉隆坡的陽光
醞釀著一股醋意
你手上的汗滴
緊握在他手裡
悶著
又臭又酸
還帶回台北要我嚐

Dream

Maybe I would wake up, finding myself on my bed in university dorm on December 3, 2002.

The chat the night beforehand was nice, and I would be wondering if I should meet that man.

Or maybe I didn't even chat with anybody the night beforehand. All was in my dream.

I would still need to get through my third and fourth years in university.

I would still need to prepare for the exam for graduate schools. Or maybe I would go study abroad.

I would still remain single for these years.

Or I would meet that man, and still be single now. I hate being single!

--

Happy Ending

I came across Avril Lavigne's old song "My Happy Ending" somewhere when I was walking around on the streets. I suddenly like this song much more than when I first listened to it upon its release.

"You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending"


Too bad this music video cannot be embedded here. So just visit YouTube at the following link to watch the video then!
My Happy Ending Music Video

..

My New Plaything

I saw a commercial about some sort of head massage device few days ago. I really liked it based on what I saw in the commercial so I was planning to try it out at the store.

Tonight since my original plan was cancelled, and I was bored so I decided to go to an Osim Focus in the East District. The sales lady was very nice. She insisted that I try all of their products, but I only tried some and I really enjoyed the experience of lying on an expensive massage chair, using calf/feet massage machine, massage belt and massage pillow. I felt so relaxed after this visit. Maybe I should go visit that nice lady more often.

The head massager is really good in that it squeezes your head tightly with air pressure and then releases. It loosens up the muscles on your head and the back of your upper neck. I really like it.

Moon Festival Day

Well... today is Moon Festival Day, and a typhoon day, too so it was raining all day today.

California Fitness was closed all day today so I couldn't go work out, or attend the Body Combat class taught by the cute and hot instructor. I even found out the time and location of his three classes on Sunday.

I went to the food court at the Xinyi Eslite Bookstore to have lunch. This is a picture of my half-eaten Eelfish on Rice. It's kind of small and not so nutritious, but I don't really care. I had to eat by myself again. That's what I don't like...

After lunch I went to the bookstore (actually I was at the bookstore for some time before lunch already). I picked up PS. I Love You and read a few pages.

Although I had seen the movie and knew the story, I still felt sad from the first few pages. It made me feel like crying, especially the part where they were fighting who should go turn off the bedroom light before bed, and somebody's feet were too cold. I even feel sad as I am writing about this.

I bought the book even though I hadn't finished The History of Love, just so that I can read it later on. Maybe there's more about the story than what the movie can present. Well... I was also thinking about buying the DVD, too, but I didn't. Maybe I will some day.

I didn't have any barbecue for Moon Festival Day, not even a barbecue restaurant for the occasion. Well, I went to a nice sukiyaki restaurant (Momo Paradise) 2 days ago with two college friends. It was very good. Let's just treat it as a tribute to the moon even though the sky had been moody for days. At least I got to have lots of nice beef at the sukiyaki restaurant.

Will & Grace

I like this sit-com. It's hilarious and it's gay. It always makes me laugh several times in each episode. I watched the show once in a while lately to cheer myself up.

I just watched two episodes in season 4 these two days, but they, however, maked me sad...

"Grace and Nathan were happily together for some time. When Grace finally wanted to be with Nathan forever, and decided to propose to him, Nathan just broke up with her. Grace's friends all wanted to cheer her up. Karen even made out with Grace. Finally after they all had done with their tricks and felt sad about themselves and all slept on the same bed for the night, Grace felt happy again.."

That was kind of quick to get over a relationship.

The shows were still filled with many funny parts.

Ultimate Analysis of Sagittarius (射手座終極分析）

I just came across an ultimate analysis of Sagittarius in terms of love and relationship. I really love this analysis and agree with most of it so I want to copy and keep it here. The author is LEWIE, and it's published in a BBS board called "tuei."

作者: LEWIE (貴族進化體－雷喬威陛下) 看板: tuei
射手座終極分析
樂觀與憂愁：射手座人的內心不是外表看上去那麼樂觀的，因為喜歡看的遠，容易擔憂的事情也就多，在他們的字典裡，即使現在好，也不一定代表未來好，有時候很多人覺得很好的一個工作或一個伴侶，他們很輕易的就會放棄掉，可能只是因為一個毫不起眼的小原因。所以，這樣的外在表現，就讓人們覺得他們不喜歡被某件事情或某個人束縛住，追求自由的，沒有壓力的感覺。

現實：常說射手座是追求夢想的人，但往往忽略了他們現實的一面，算計起來不會比處女座差哦，只是更高明更隱藏罷了。射手座人的夢想是必須建立在現實的基礎上的，一般他們很少談及自己的夢想，而是實際的去做一些向夢想靠攏的事情。如果可以借巧力完成的事情，決不會多花一點工夫。所以有時候射手座也容易給人耍小聰明的感覺。可是，不得不承認他們完成的還滿不錯。也許終其一生，他們都在考慮怎麼巧妙的做一些事情，花最少的精力去達到最好的效果。所以，很多射手座看上去讓人們會覺得很懶，但是其實他們的大腦可沒有停下過思考現實的事情。

拒絕低俗：幾乎所有的射手座內心都是驕傲的，其程度絕不亞於獅子座。只不過他們不會顯現在臉上，外在的表現總是隨和的，恰當的。可是內在有著極強的自尊心，敏感也情緒化。因為射手座人心中是驕傲的，所以他們拒絕低俗，不喜歡任何俗氣的、粗魯的事或人。如果可以，他們希望一切有關的事物，都是優雅的、高尚的，值得品味的。而真正能讓他們覺得值得交朋友或談戀愛的人是很少的，雖然表面上他們是很隨和的。

多情：很多人說射手座多情，尤其是男性。其實在射手座人的心目中，對於愛情確實有理想化的傾向，和他們談戀愛，是一件高難度的事情。他們非常討厭俗氣的人，所以你不能很物質或喜歡談錢，但是他們又很現實，所以你不能一文不名，各方面也必須有一定的實力。物質與精神，你必須平衡的剛剛好，才讓他們覺得你值得去愛。或者，你有足夠的神秘感，可以讓他們不知道你的缺點在哪裡，而盲目的愛你。一般，當然是沒有完美無缺的人的，所以，可能像金牛座這樣永遠會讓射手感覺捉摸不透的悶悶的人，會非常吸引他們；或者象雙子那樣，足夠機智，懂得察言觀色，捕捉他們的情緒，才會讓他們感覺到愛情的甜蜜。一般射手的感情模式是，第一階段，你們還不熟悉，他（她）愛上了你，非常熱情。第二階段，你們逐漸熟悉，而他（她）開始龜毛，整天挑剔你的毛病，無論是背地裡還是當面。如果你有幸通過他（她）的挑剔過程，基本挑剔出的毛病為零或者你把缺點保密的非常好；那麼進入第三階段，他們就又是忠誠和熱情的愛人了。但是基本能通過第二階段的人非常少，所以有了射手多情一說。其實射手對戀人的挑剔，是源於對愛情的挑剔，對喪失自由感的恐懼。

射手座人的人生，往往是幸運的，因為他們是聰慧的、明朗的、通透的。與眾不同，也許是他們終生追求的夢想，希望每一個射手人，可以找到他們的夢想！

人人都說射手座是感情的騙子，對愛情不尊重，只追求片刻的快感，是花心與沖滿慾望的象徵。朋友們，你們瞭解射手座最真實的一面嗎？

射手座是大孩子，天真與善良，遇到愛情時，可能讓人感覺不認真，付出的比誰都少。可是，知道嗎？射手座很想愛，卻也很怕愛！剛開始他們只是慢慢的付出，謹慎的愛，好怕自己會受傷。可是在一句一句的愛，一天一天的相處下，射手座把帶刺的防備丟掉，開始不顧一切的去愛他們所愛的人，在別人眼中，只是射手座為了達到某種目的而作的行動。可射手座不介意，他會在自己幸福的想像中陶醉，希望對方能感受自己的愛，想對方覺得與自己一齊是幸福的。

在射手座愛上了一個人，他會把自己放到最後。有苦自己承擔，可能會因為吵了一場小架而不開心，卻也是最快認錯，無論誰的錯，他們都會包容，知道嗎？射手座會因為深愛一個人而原諒他的背叛，會因為你的一句話付出很多。他們愛玩，在玩的同時，也希望把那一份好心情帶給你，射手座是樂觀的。

人們總覺得射手座的世界很快樂，可是呢？射手座難過時沒有人知道，他不想讓別人可憐自己，射手座不堅強，可是很善良。在你難過時哄你開心，讓你有依靠，分手後，他會哭者去想屬於你們倆幸福的回憶，也不想愛的人因為同情而勉強和他一齊。他比誰都希望自己愛的人快樂幸福，卻常常忽略了自己，全身都是傷也笑著告訴你，我很好不用擔心。

在所有人看到他的笑容以為他沒事，卻不知道失戀對射手座有多大傷害，華麗的外表下有一顆脆弱的需要別人瞭解和安慰的心。知道嘛？你的一點關心，心思細膩的射手座會記得你對他的好，把自己的愛毫無保留的送給你，射手座是不被瞭解的，可他們不會怨誰。他們會傻傻的認為，讓我承擔吧，別讓別人也受到傷害。所以，不要讓快樂的射手座痛苦，別讓他們最有魅力的笑容成為掩飾痛苦的偽裝，認真愛射手座。你會知道射手座的愛，是充滿淚水的。

Priceless Cure

For the past few years, when I was asked what I wanted for my birthday, I always gave the same answer. That was something that money can never buy. The man that asked that question was never satisfied with my answer so I had to name something that can be bought just for the sake of pleasing him for my birthday.

But REALLY, as long as I can get such same gift every year for my birthday, I can be 101% satisfied, or even 202%.

What do I want for my birthday this year?
Maybe a friendly chat with my boyfriend-to-be? a hike in the rain with scary cows? a boat ride under starry sky? a hand-in-hand walk in the mountains when it's dark?

A lifetime commitment + early bedtime? This sounds wonderful...

***
Bad sleep for several months gives a person bad facial skin with acnes. Does it also kill a person?
If we want to cure the acnes, we should not just put some ointment on the face. To cure the source of everything is more important than to cure the symptoms. What makes a person have bad acnes? What makes a person have bad sleep? What makes a person have a bad mood?

If the real cause is not corrected or removed, no matter how many drugs or ointment you take or apply, the symptoms will come back again and again.

I don't know...

Cape No. 7 (海角七號)

"Stay, or I'll go with you."
Well... all the stories and fights and love and tears and laughters all built up to this line.

I'd never thought that singer Van (the man playing the leading actor) was good-looking until I saw this movie. Or maybe he's had a big makeover to make himself look manly and hot. Who knows.

The movie has a good story and the jokes are funny. I haven't seen a Taiwanese film that I like so much since Formula 17.

As a translator, I feel like sort of discussing a little bit about the languages used in the movie and the subtitles. Mandarin Chinese, Taiwanese, and Japanese are spoken in the movie. Taiwanese audience can easily recognize the shift of languages, and (most of them) also understand both the Mandarin Chinese and Taiwanese languages. If I were a speaker of none of the above, I would not be able to tell that three languages are used in the movie. When I read the English subtitles, it is only in one language so it cannot reflect the shift of the spoken languages and the jokes based on languages. The subtitles are also condensed due to screen size restriction and a consideration for audience reading speed. However, I think that the English subtitles are still quite good. It still gets some of the essence of the jokes. Some jokes require some knowledge of the Taiwanese language, culture, and deities in order for the audience to understand. Well, as long as the story is good, I think this languages and subtitles issue can be ignored.

The movie just won an award in Tokyo so I guess the Japanese people like the movie. I hope people in other countries will like it, too. It may bring more tourists from other countries to Kenting. To echo with the movie, though I don't particularly agree with it, let's shout, "Fuck you, Taipei!"

If you are in Taiwan, go see it now. If you are not, maybe it will be screened in your country later.

Contagion

J: I took Gotham's white knight, and brought him down to our level. It wasn't hard. Y'see, madness, as you know, is like gravity. All it takes is a little...push
--
I just started to wonder, "Is personality contagious? Are negative characteristics/habits contagious, too?"

I don't know, but I truly hope that I only get the good characteristics/habits from others, and shun the bad ones away. I also hope that I am capable enough to spread my good ones to others, and keep the bad ones to myself, or, even better, get rid of them.

For now, the best way for me is to stay away from those with personalities/habits that I want to stay away with.
--
Two-Face: You thought we could be decent men in an indecent time. But you were wrong.

--

Body Combat + Matchbox 20

There is a song at the body combat class that I like. At this song, people swiftly shift their feet back and forth while slightly jumping up and down. The instructor looks so cute with this movement. haha ..

I did a little search and found out that this song is sung by Matchbox 20. It's called "How Far We've Come," released in the album "Exile on Mainstream" in 2007. I didn't even know Matchbox 20 had this album. I am so ashamed of myself. I listened to lots of their previous albums, but I didn't even know they had a new album with new songs + greatest hits? Anyway... Rob Thomas still looks hot, but I think he looks hotter in Smooth.

How Far We've Come

I'm waking up at the start of the end of the world,
but its feeling just like every other morning before,
now i wonder what my life is going to mean if it's gone,
the cars are moving like a half a mile an hour and I
started staring at the passengers who're waving goodbye
can you tell me what was ever really special about me all this time


Bent

If I couldn't sleep could you sleep
Could you paint me better off
Could you sympathize with my needs
I know you think I need a lot
I started out clean but I'm jaded
Just phoning it in
Just breaking the skin
Can you help me I'm bent
I'm so scared that I'll never
Get put back together


I like Lonely No More, but I think it's released under Rob Thomas, not Matchbox 20. Anyway, the music video is very cool, too. Check it out.

I don't wanna be lonely no more,
I don't wanna have to pay for this,
I don't wanna know the lover at my door,
Is just another heartache on my lips

Privilege

What privileges does love give to one person?

What are the special things that you only do with/to this person that you love, and that you will never do with/to others?

There must some parts of you that you only reveal to your lover, physically and mentally, that no one else, even the best of the best friends, would be able to get close to.

Once you grant such privilege to a person, it's difficult to recall such privilege. It's not like there is something wrong with the product that the manufacturer has to recall everything from the retailers. No, there is nothing wrong with such love/privilege. It's just the person that grants it may be mind-changing.

When the manufacturer recalls something that a customer buys (or even has opened and used), the manufacturer will have to offer compensations of equal value, or the customer can sue the manufacturer, which may be covered by an insurance plan.

Can love be insured, too?
The exclusivity of the privilege should be maintained.

The Winner Takes It All

Well, I have to say something about the musical of the year, "Mamma Mia!" The music is good, the story is entertaining, and the actors (some) are hot.

I know the stage musical has been out for years, but I still have to say that the producer and playwright of this musical were really good at threading Abba's songs into a show. You will feel that those songs are originally made for this musical.

I never thought Meryl Streep to be such a good singer. Can you imagine a fashion magazine editor-in-chief (ref. Devil Wears Prada) sings and dances around a little island? Pierce Brosnan looked so tensed and unnatural when he sang though. Colin Firth didn't have too much singing part but he was not a bad singer. Oh, I wish I could still be so charming at Firth's age, but fitter than he. And I just found out that the woman playing Rosie also plays Molly Weasley in Harry Potter. And the beautiful woman playing the role of the daughter is actually the stupid girl in Mean Girls. The man playing the role of Sky (a hot man indeed) is already 30 years old. Wow!

Besides that happy, cheerful songs in the musical, the song I like the most is "The Winner Takes it All," sung by the leading role Donna (She's the leading role, right? cuz she has more singing part).

This song is fairly heart-wrenching and echoes my thoughts. Well, not entirely, but close.
With this song accompanied by Meryl Streep's sorrowful voices and her award-winning acting skills, I sheded tears in the theater. ( and I was so glad that nobody got angry at me for crying in theater. Crying should be allowed just as much as laughing in theater.)




I was in your arms
Thinking I belonged there
I figured it made sense
Building me a fence
Building me a home
Thinking I'd be strong there
But I was a fool
Playing by the rules

The gods may throw a dice
Their minds as cold as ice
And someone way down here
Loses someone dear

**
Here is a short clip of Lay All Your Love on Me, sung by the daughter and a hot Sky.

Introspection

Usually what we look for in a lover is, in terms of attitude towards a relationship, a standard far more restricting than what's applying on ourselves.

For example, if you are a man that, say, has one night stands, you will probably want someone that does not have one night stands. If you go to bars very often, you will want someone that does not go to bars. You know what kind of fun can be had if your potential lover also does the same thing so you feel insecure if the potential lover share the same sort of habits(in terms of relationship) with you.

Then you only allow yourself to have that sort of fun, telling yourself you know what yourself is doing and will definitely not cross the line, while at the same time suspecting the potential lover's intentions of doing exactly the same thing as you.

Well, it's much more fair to demand a lover with standars that you impose on yourself. Or even better, be less demanding towards your lover than on yourself. However, it's difficult to be less demanding towards others than yourself. It's already good enough if you can use the same standards for both of you.

What if you are a man that does NOT sleep around, and only wants a lifetime partner? What should you expect of a potential lover? Will treating him with the same standards be demanding? Not at all.

The Dark Knight

How can I not say something about the first movie I saw 3 times in theater, and two of them were in the IMAX theater?

It's really worthwhile to see this movie in an IMAX theater because parts of the movie were filmed with IMAX technology. When you see the movie shot with IMAX techonology in an IMAX theater, your vision will be filled with the image. It's like you are right inside the scene. You can't see the black margins you normally see in an ordinary theater. The parts of the movie shot outdoors were especially more magnificent-looking with IMAX technology, be it a jump from the top of the skyscraper, or a car chase scene. Superb!

The movie itself is full of significances too. Well, this part should be kept for myself, not to be shared, in case it turns out to be a spoiler.

Vacation ...

"Don't make me the only hope for your normal life."
~ Rachel Dawes (The Dark Knight).

*****
I had nice vacations in summer for a few years in a row, 2004, 2005, 2006 and 2007
I went to Canada in both 2004 and 2005.
I went to several beach resorts in 2006 and 2007.
I was alone for the two-month vacation in Montreal in 2005, but I didn't feel lonely at all.

Yet I stay in Taipei this year. I didn't go anywhere. It's September already. I feel lonely.

I only want to go to Kenting for a weekend, or a weekend + 1 or 2 more days.
Isn't this trip much much shorter/cheaper than a trip in, say, some Southeastern Asian country?
I dare not dream about going to Palau this year because I am UNFORTUNATELY single.
A trip in a romantic holiday destination shall be had with a romantic, DEVOted, faithful partner.

Well... where is my DEVOted and faithful lover?

*****
"Sometimes people deserve to have their faith rewarded."
~James Gordon (The Dark Knight).

...

YAHOO's Campaign "In Search of an Ex"

Why is Yahoo doing such a cruel thing?

In whose arms is he lying now?
On whose bed is he sleeping now?
Are you looking for him?
Or is he looking for you?

Do you ever wander around the city, only to find yourself standing in front of his place? Or the place both of you used to belong to?
Do you expect to see that familiar figure standing at the familiar street corner?
Do you know how many turns you have to make, how many stairs you have to climb, and how many keys you have to use to enter that place of lost love?

Every image is like a frame of a movie, being played over and over and over again.

Maybe Yahoo is trying to inspire people, that an ex, if found, can be your new lover...

Thoughts and Nightmare

Am I truly incurable?

Why have I been waiting for a fallen white knight that enjoys one night stands better?
Why have I been dreaming about getting even, but coming up with no feasible way to do it?
Why do I believe the space between two people defines their relations and interactions?

I keep a distance from those who only want to get close to me, physically.
I want to approach the man who is trying to distance me, mentally and physically.

**
I had a dream right before dawn, in which you were lining up with me for a performance of some sort. Then out of the blue we started to argue, about us being together, about me, about you, and about the man(or men) that fucked you after the breakup. You got angry at me when I asked if you went to Scotland alone.

I forget the arguments, but I remember the pain, and the hatred within me towards the part of you that allowed other men to do such a thing to you.

And I asked you what you call the kind of people that sleep around? And you got even angrier.

And I woke up from this nightmare, feeling sad again.

Why did I waste my dream space for an unfaithful man anyway?

**

Adultery

Adultery is a criminal crime in Taiwan. It compromises the harmony of a happily married couple. The one being cheated can sue the third person for adultery.

I just came across a piece of news this morning. The husband of a married heterosexual couple had sex several times with another man. The wife thus brought a lawsuit against the third person.

The judge, however, ruled in favor of the third person.

Based on the fact the same sex marriage is not recognized by the laws in Taiwan, the judge presumes that the husband's sexual acts with the man do not pose any threats to the marriage of the couple in question. The judge also cites that the crime of adultery is listed in the Criminal Code only for the purpose of protecting the marriage life of a heterosexual couple.

This highlights the absurdity of the illegality of same sex marriage, as well as what some gay men with a taste for married husbands can get away with.

Robbie Williams

I was never a big fan of Robbie Williams, but lately I find that his old songs are actually describing a kind of mentality I should have, a type of attitude I should present to the world, and a statement I should be using to convince myself that I should have No Regrets, and that I should grow and become a Better Man so that an even better man will show up at my front door. hahaha

TRUST

Will I be able to trust again? I don't know, but I hope I will.

When I finally find someone to be with, will he, after 5 years when I feel like moving on to the next step of the relationship, decide to have sex with another man and have a trip in Burma with that man he sleeps with?

The trust is crushed and dissipated into a mere joke. It's like somebody laughing at me, "Who told you to trust me? I didn't promise that all my words to you would be true. I could break my promises just like I could break your heart. See? Am I trustworthy?"

Is it worthwhile to make myself trustworthy for people that are not?
Is it worthwhile to make myself trustworthy for a stranger that may turn out to be a liar?

"Have faith in human beings," some books or some people may say.

I don't have an answer.

Kuala Lumpur

The photo in my wallet was taken in Kuala Lumpur, just right outside the KL Tower.

"I want to give you a birthday present."
"Ok. What is it? as long as it's not expensive."
"Since you have to do some preparations beforehand, I have to tell you now few weeks in a advance."
"What preparations?"
"Well, you need to get a visa first because.... WE ARE GOING TO KUALA LUMPUR for your birthday!"

My first wonderful and romantic trip abroad.

Leftover 2

Who will sit down by my table and enjoy me?

My previous owner decided to give up this dish of me. Therefore he just strolls around Restaurant Taipei, and occasionally sits down at some tables with tempting dishes, taking some bites here and there, and then stands up again just to wander around the restaurant.

Chef TC, my creator, is very considerate. Knowing that it is a man-eat-man world, he doesn't let anybody take a bite of me or get close to me. Only the right and the righteous man can do that. Even though I have become some sort of a dish of leftover, the chef just adjusted my looks and added some spices on top to dress me up. This somehow makes my previous occupier walk back and compliment my new flavors, but then just walk away to check out other dishes on other tables, wondering if he can have some free tastings.

Now I can only sit on my table and wait, hoping that my trusted chef has made me right:

Gym Build/ Master's Degree/ English/ Chinese/ Some French/ Good Profession/ Romantic/ Simple Life/ Movies/ Music/ Traveling/ Beach/ Hiking/ Faithful/ Honest/ ...etc

...

The most boring summer

It is the most boring summer ever, without any trips anywhere.
I didn't go to Green Island, Penghu, or Kenting. I didn't go to Bintan, Singapore, or Hong Kong. What a wonderful 2006 and 2007! I had so many wonderful trips!

I want to go to Palau, Bali, and Guam. I want to go to Orchid Island, Penghu, and Formosa Coast Waterpark.

Now I don't even have a lover to keep me company and cool me down in the scorching hot Taipei city the entire summer.

I will have a lover very very soon, a lover with all the criteria that I want, a lover who only tells the truth and who will always be there for me.

Leftover ( Restaurant continued)

No way can I eat somebody else's leftover even if I am the one ordering the dish.

You see, when I eat, I want the entire plate for myself, and I do not allow another man touching any bit of my food.

Once upon a time, Chef Winnie prepared a nice and delicious dish for me to savour. It's a really nice dish with so many flavours in it, with so many ingredients in it (including my favourite salmon and maple syrup), and the serving is so big that it is meant to be eaten in a span of decades so I only ate a little bit every day since the day Chef Winnie delivered the dish to my table.

Sometimes when I saw an ingredient that I didn't like, I would still try to swallow or add some other spice to make it taste better. I just didn't want to throw out the parts of the ingredients that I didn't like. Well, in Chinese tradtion, one shall not waste food.

Sometimes the food tasted good, and sometimes the food tasted bad, but I didn't mind because the good tastes beat the bad tastes, or because I could always find some other spices to neutralize the bad tastes.

One day I suddenly realized that Chef Winnie put something that I could not stand in my plate. I didn't worry about that either. I just moved it to the side of the dish, thinking that I would come back to this part later when my tasting buds would probably change. I just picked that parts that I enjoyed first. However, I started to find more and more ingredients that I could never swallow in the dish since then.

Then some time ago, when I hadn't touched the dish for several days and had left the dish unprotected somewhere out of my control, some uninvited starving gipsy man barged in and took a bite with his dirty hands of my treasured food, leaving as he withdrew his hands traces of dead skin in the plate. When I went back to my table, that hooligan was still sitting at my seat, occupying my table, drooling my leftover. Only now it had become HIS leftover.

I shot my angry eyes at Chef Winnie, demanding an explanation. He just shrugged, and said nothing, as if the restaurant did not guarantee that the customer could finish his own dish entirely without interruptions, as if thieves and robbers were allowed into the restaurant, and as if all I could do was to find ways to share the dish (if I want to and if the hooligan want to, too), or win the dish back, or order another one.

Another man's leftover? With his saliva and god-knows-what gooey stuff mixed in?

I don't know if the almighty Chef Winnie is able to purge it or clone another one for me... I don't know... I don't know... I don't know... and I still don't know...

I want a dish composed of:
Around My Age/ Gym Build(Athletic, if the ingredient is lacking)/ Bachelor's Degree or Above/ English/ Chinese/ Good Profession/ Simple Life/ NO smoking / Movie/ Music/ Romantic/ Traveling/ Hiking/ Beach/ HOT/ Faithful/ Honest/...etc.

Maybe I am a dish for someone too. Who will order me? Now that I am partially eaten.

...

Beautiful Words

Will you want a man that needs to sleep with other men to finally realize where he belongs?

When you have every right to get angry at him, accusing him of some mistakes that he has made, then he simply says, "Why are you angry at me? I am going to tell you something nice that you want to hear so you are not supposed to be angry at me for the bad things that I've done. If you get angry at me, then I will not tell you the good things you want to hear."

Is there a logic here?

Can beautiful words make up for a bad deed?

Better Man - Robbie Wiliams

Send someone to love me
I need to rest in arms
Keep me safe from harm
In pouring rain

Give me endless summer
Lord I fear the cold
Feel I'm getting old
Before my time

As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I'm doing all I can
To be a better man

Go easy on my conscience
'Cause it's not my fault
I know I've been taught
To take the blame

Rest assured my angels
Will catch my tears
Walk me out of here
I'm in pain

As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I'm doing all I can
To be a better man

Once you've found that lover
You're homeward bound
Love is all around
Love is all around

I know some have fallen
On stony ground
But Love is all around

Body Combat + Anger

Well... when you punch or kick, you can imagine you are hitting the source of your anger. It can help you calm down and less angry afterwards. Now I've got one more reason to go to body combat classes in addition to the hot instructor.

WTF

DJ to JEFF, "We can have sex, dates, and trips abroad, but we are not boyfriends."

DJ to me, "We are not boyfriends so I cannot have sex, dates, or trips abroad with you."

WTF does this mean? Are there any lies involved here?

History of Love

The literary part of me (kind of embarrassing to say it) decided to buy a book that's more like a literature than a popular fiction this evening. Since I've finished Dead Simple, I wanted to get another book for me to read when I take public transportations.

Walking around Eslite, I saw several books that seemed to be good to read and then I came across The History of Love.

This book is not recent. It was published like 2 or 3 years ago, and the Chinese translation came out probably several months ago, I don't remember.

I looked at the back cover and read 2 pages of the book at Eslite. I liked the description and the beginning of the story so I decided to give it a try and bought it immediately.

I am goint to read it and finish it.

Magic Trick

When you perform a magic trick, you need a secret-hiding handsome man who is also good at acting, and an innocent loving man who is ready to believe.

Voila, whatever the handsome man, fully aware of the development of the performance, tells the innocent man at the first moement will magically vanish at the next, and turn into something completely different in nature and purpose, just like a harmless sweet lady being turned into a ferocious, life-threateing tiger.

Avril Lavigne in concert

Who would give me free tickets to Avril Lavigne's concert in September?

I know from a friend that the tickets to Travis's concert could be given for free by sleeping with J...someone...
hm...probably not Avril Lavigne's though... well who knows.

Anyway, I am well capable of buying my own ticket to any concert, and pay my own trip to other countries. My honeymoon trip... mmm... will definitely take place in a more developed country or a tropical beach resort.

Liar VS Seer

DJ had sex with JEFF few weeks ago.
DJ went out with JEFF for dinners and for concerts.
DJ told me he and JEFF were only only friends.

DJ told me two weeks ago he was going to Kuala Lumpur and Burma ALONE and BY HIMSELF.
Last night DJ told me he "hired a car" to pick him up at the airport.

Today DJ told me he went to Kuala Lumpur and Burma with JEFF, for two weeks, and last night JEFF's friend(s) went to the airport to pick them up.
God knows what happened in this trip.

Oh... the almighty and omnicient CL! You have always been right. The "I miss you" messages must have been sent when the sender has done something that makes himself guilty. Let the ignorant and innocent people follow your guidance when they are lost in believing in what others lie about.

I didn't think DJ would lie to me. Now you've convinced me.

Call Me When You're Sober - Evanescence

Don't cry to me. If you loved me,
You would be here with me.
You want me. Come find me.
Make up your mind.

...

Hippopotamus in the house

Last night, and on lots of the nights for the past few weeks, the hippopotamus living upstairs would tramp around her room, as if trying to announce her own existence. Worst of all, she likes to practice walking very late at night and early in the morning.

You see, she usually comes back to life as I go back to my place for a night's rest. At around 12 or 1 o'clock in the morning, she will finally finish her late night tap dance (she definitely trips on herself all the time, because the sound of furniture dragged across the floor is often heard, too), and then go out. That's the only time I can finally fall asleep without being waken up again and again by her heavy footsteps.

Then at around 5 or 6 o'clock in the morning, as the door to her bedroom opens, her clumsy tap dance repertoire begins once again. Well, if I had fallen asleep by 11:00 at night, I wouldn't mind being waken up by this thumping alarm clock at 6 in the morning. Since I didn't have enough sleep, this early morning dance practice is another torture for me.

I really feel like telling the hippopotamus that the tenant before her was almost like invisible to me because I couldn't even tell if she was home or not; however, I can always tell if the hippo is home or not upon opening the door. That stinky smell accompanied by heavy footsteps... well...let's assume that she went out for work in the middle of the night at some "special" pubs. What kind of clients would request services from a hippo? She can't even walk gracefully without making any noise!

Frustration + Dogs

I saw N, V, and L in the gym today. L waved his hand at me as he kept going upstairs so I waved back at him. He waved at me again when I was leaving too. V only sneaked up besides me and said that he would not disturb my working out. I don't like N so I didn't gesture or say anything to him and neither did he to me.

As I walked out of the gym, I saw R wandering around outside ahead of me. Well... I didn't know if I should go talk to him or not so I decided not to. Then I suddenly felt like going to Eslite to see if Js was there, and he was not there tonight. I went back to my place finally, without having a chat with anybody tonight except the accupuncture doctor when I went to get accupuncture for my lower back earlier this evening.

**
Dogs are nice animals, but I am afraid of them. I don't know if they will bite me or not.

Sometimes I will see a dog on the street trying to hump another dog that it meets for the first time. If this dog rejects, then the dog will probably go find another one. As long as it can hump a dog or get humped, it doesn't matter what the other dog is. Such a poor animal, without the ability of discrimination.

Without some tight control, there will be bastards everywhere on the streets.

New Haircut

Thanks to a friend networking website, I got the msn of a gay hairdresser. He seems like a nice man and has over 8-year of hairdressing experience so I decided to go to the hair salon where he works and let him cut my hair. All I asked for my hair was: make the sides and the back very short, and make the center on the top a little longer. I left the rest to the hairdresser.

When I put on my glasses after over 1 hour of cutting (the longest time I've ever spent on a haircut), I was a little surprised. I've never had such a bold hair style before. The sides are super short, forming two straight lines to the top while the hair on the top is all spiky and standing up, with the hair wax that the haidresser put on.

I kind of feel that it is too bold for me, but anyway, I've always had conservative hairstyle for years. Why not try something new?

It is also the most expensive haircut I've ever had.

Body Combat + Power

Today I went to my first body combat class at California Fitness.

Another person from a friend networking website was supposed to meet me there and show me around the classroom (as if I were a newbie in CF), but he didn't show up.

Seeing that the classroom was not crowded at all on a Sunday morning, I decided to venture into the classroom. I picked the farthest end of the classroom at the back row, with very little room to move around. Suddenly the lady in front of me asked me to move to her front where there was more room but more exposed to other people. I just listented to her because I thought I really needed more space.

The class went smoothly because the moves were not as difficult as those I had seen in other aerobics class, like Latin ones. I had a good time in class. My spirit was lifted when I was among those people that were so adrenalized-pumped. I chose this particular class on a Sunday because the class instructor was hot and young. His classese on the weekdays were always packed and at times inconvenient for me. He is quite popular among a certain crowd of CF members.

As I was leaving the gym, I saw the instructor walking out of the gym with his bf, a very muscular man probably in his late 30's. The instructor is about 25 years old and is still in university, according to my informant, but the bf is probably almost 40. I've heard about similar couples lately, and I am wondering how they become a couple. Maybe a lot of young men like to date older men?

I don't know how the power structure works in a couple with huge age gap. Maybe the one having more money is giving orders, or maybe the one having youther flesh is making decisions.

The balance of power is a tricky thing. It has to be balanced, but at an angle of various degrees. Equality may not work because decisions probably cannot be made when both sides share the same level of power.

As for myself, I don't even have a scale to stand on. There is no one to share a scale with me, so there is no struggle or balance of power for me to worry about or to strive for.

Seeing other couples really makes me sad.

Free Hugs

I am not really interested in getting free hugs from strangers. When I saw those activists giving free hugs, I always walked as far away as possible.

Well, there is one kind that I especially don't like even more.

For example, a guy (coded: KFC man) asked me to meet him for lunch on a working day, but I still said yes since I thought it was nice to have lunch with someone. When I arrived at the meeting point in front of a KFC, he was not there. I had to wait like 10 minutes before he showed up. Then he told me that he had already eaten, and that it was okay if I still wanted to eat ( of course I wanted to eat. That's why I went there). As I was chewing the barely satisfying grilled chicken burger at KFC, I suddenly received a phone message. I didn't want to check it because I thought it was probably some sort of junk mail. After a few minutes, KFC man asked me if I had received a message. "I think so. Why?" I said.
"Check it now," KFC man insisted.
I took out my phone and found that the text read, "do you want to have a hug in the bathroom?"
Before I even put down my phone back into my pocket, I shook my head saying, "No."
"Really?" KFC man asked.
"Really."
I finished my burger very quickly and on our way downstairs, he asked me again if I wanted to use the bathroom. "No, definitely not," I said.

***
I saw a fruity-looking guy quite often during my lunch hours outside my office. I accidentally ran into his profile on the Internet so I left a message with him and then sort of made friends with him .

There is another guy working out in Ximen that I saw once in a while. I ran into his online profile too. He gave me his msn after I simply left a message on his page saying I had seen him in the gym. So I put him on my msn list. (Coded: N)

Vs told me when we accidentally met in the restaurant close to my work that one of his friends is N. Vs said N checked me out very often in the gym and stuff.

Well, as my current goal is to make some friends, I messaged N on MSN one night just to say hi and to let him know that Vs mentioned about him to me. Since I was going to bed very soon, I didn't want to chat that much. I told him I was going to bed.
"?" he wrote.
"I am going to bed. Good night," I typed again.
"Do you want to have a hug?" N said.
"NO," I said resolutely and logged off immediately.

Now I don't feel like using the gym at Ximen because both of these two men work out in that gym. I also don't feel like meeting new people now. I don't like it when people ask me that question, either euphemized or not. Maybe I should introduce them to each other so that they can hug each other all they want since they both live in the same area.

Embarrassing encounter

After Lk left me an internet message telling me he's seen me in the gym occasionally, I started to actually see this person in the gym occasionally. It's like he'd never existed until he announced his entry into the world on my message board.

Well, the first time I spotted him in the gym was when I was only wrapped in a towel and so was he. To top it all, his locker was right below mine. It was an uncomfortable encounter, but I was doing the thing I was really good at: acting absent-minded and indifferent.

So I quickly dressed myself and went downstairs because I wanted to use the Internet to write something to Cl. As I was waiting for the computer. Lk came downstairs. I struggled a little but and then finally pointed my finger at him, saying, "aren't you the guy on that website?" He nodded while talking on his cell phone, and gesturing me to wait a minute. I got a computer to use around the same time so I just browsed through the Internet. After Lk finished his phone call, he just told me he had to leave immediately for a dinner with his friends......

Anyway, after that strange encounter, I occasionally ran into this guy that checked me out in the gym.

Very funny.

My aspirations...

I am going to make some English-speaking gay friends, so that when we go out together, it's easy for them and you to talk to each other.
I am going to make friends that can get me free tickets to all kinds of good shows.
I am going to make friends that can introduce me to lots of other friends.
I am going to make friends that will invite me to their dinner parties.
I am going to make friends that have a nice apartment in the East District in Taipei.
I am going to make friends that can turn me into all of the above.
I am going to make myself irresistible to you .......

Chinese Lover's Day

So the couple separated by the Jade Emperor's order shall meet on this special day once every year...

Well...
Since we are going to spend another 70 years or more together, with another 70 Chinese Lover's Days and 70 Valentine's Days to celebrate, it's fine to miss one.

A year is composed of 364 days with only 2 lover's days.
Why put such great emphasis on these two days? Because the circumstance tells us to do so.

2 Lover's Days, 2 Birthdays, 1 anniversary for this, and 1 anniversary for that...

Story ONE (Genesis)

"They can only see each other once a year," A said, while pedaling the boat on the lake in Xindian.
"You are telling me that the day they see each other every year is different? Then how do they know which day to meet?" asked D.
"Well if you look at the lunar calendar, they actually see each other on exactly the same day every year, the 7th day of the 7th month," A tried to take the steer, but D wouldn't let go of it.
"And the birds - I don't know how to call them in English - will gather and make a bridge for them to cross the Milky Way, since in Chinese we call that belt of shining stars the 'Silver River.' It's just like crossing a bridge on a river."

"Interesting story," D slowed down the pedaling speed, bringing the boat almost to a halt.
"So on that day people will decorate this suspension bridge with lights and everything, and lovers will cross the bridge to celebrate the day and show their love to each other."
"Really? That will be really beautiful. You Chinese people are romantic."

The boat was simply floating on water. Neither of them was pedaling. This December night was cold, unlike the hot summer day when the love bridge is built for lovers. The occupants of the boat were already imagining how beautiful the bridge would be on such day, and how romantic it would be to walk across the bridge together.

Slowly and subtly, the temperature was rising on the boat. The night was silent because no one was talking.

Beliefs

After reading Secret, I am writing down my beliefs to attract all the positive energy.

We are in love and will always be in love.
We are happy with each other.
We are faithful to each other.
We are a perfect couple.
We are overcoming all the difficulties in love, and the final challenge is almost over.

I am super hot.
I am happy.
I am making new and good friends.
I am doing a good job.
I have good sleep every day.
I will move to a nice apartment of my own very soon.
I am regaining the stability of my life.