Adultery

Adultery is a criminal crime in Taiwan. It compromises the harmony of a happily married couple. The one being cheated can sue the third person for adultery.

I just came across a piece of news this morning. The husband of a married heterosexual couple had sex several times with another man. The wife thus brought a lawsuit against the third person.

The judge, however, ruled in favor of the third person.

Based on the fact the same sex marriage is not recognized by the laws in Taiwan, the judge presumes that the husband's sexual acts with the man do not pose any threats to the marriage of the couple in question. The judge also cites that the crime of adultery is listed in the Criminal Code only for the purpose of protecting the marriage life of a heterosexual couple.

This highlights the absurdity of the illegality of same sex marriage, as well as what some gay men with a taste for married husbands can get away with.

Robbie Williams

I was never a big fan of Robbie Williams, but lately I find that his old songs are actually describing a kind of mentality I should have, a type of attitude I should present to the world, and a statement I should be using to convince myself that I should have No Regrets, and that I should grow and become a Better Man so that an even better man will show up at my front door. hahaha

TRUST

Will I be able to trust again? I don't know, but I hope I will.

When I finally find someone to be with, will he, after 5 years when I feel like moving on to the next step of the relationship, decide to have sex with another man and have a trip in Burma with that man he sleeps with?

The trust is crushed and dissipated into a mere joke. It's like somebody laughing at me, "Who told you to trust me? I didn't promise that all my words to you would be true. I could break my promises just like I could break your heart. See? Am I trustworthy?"

Is it worthwhile to make myself trustworthy for people that are not?
Is it worthwhile to make myself trustworthy for a stranger that may turn out to be a liar?

"Have faith in human beings," some books or some people may say.

I don't have an answer.

Kuala Lumpur

The photo in my wallet was taken in Kuala Lumpur, just right outside the KL Tower.

"I want to give you a birthday present."
"Ok. What is it? as long as it's not expensive."
"Since you have to do some preparations beforehand, I have to tell you now few weeks in a advance."
"What preparations?"
"Well, you need to get a visa first because.... WE ARE GOING TO KUALA LUMPUR for your birthday!"

My first wonderful and romantic trip abroad.

Leftover 2

Who will sit down by my table and enjoy me?

My previous owner decided to give up this dish of me. Therefore he just strolls around Restaurant Taipei, and occasionally sits down at some tables with tempting dishes, taking some bites here and there, and then stands up again just to wander around the restaurant.

Chef TC, my creator, is very considerate. Knowing that it is a man-eat-man world, he doesn't let anybody take a bite of me or get close to me. Only the right and the righteous man can do that. Even though I have become some sort of a dish of leftover, the chef just adjusted my looks and added some spices on top to dress me up. This somehow makes my previous occupier walk back and compliment my new flavors, but then just walk away to check out other dishes on other tables, wondering if he can have some free tastings.

Now I can only sit on my table and wait, hoping that my trusted chef has made me right:

Gym Build/ Master's Degree/ English/ Chinese/ Some French/ Good Profession/ Romantic/ Simple Life/ Movies/ Music/ Traveling/ Beach/ Hiking/ Faithful/ Honest/ ...etc

...

The most boring summer

It is the most boring summer ever, without any trips anywhere.
I didn't go to Green Island, Penghu, or Kenting. I didn't go to Bintan, Singapore, or Hong Kong. What a wonderful 2006 and 2007! I had so many wonderful trips!

I want to go to Palau, Bali, and Guam. I want to go to Orchid Island, Penghu, and Formosa Coast Waterpark.

Now I don't even have a lover to keep me company and cool me down in the scorching hot Taipei city the entire summer.

I will have a lover very very soon, a lover with all the criteria that I want, a lover who only tells the truth and who will always be there for me.

Leftover ( Restaurant continued)

No way can I eat somebody else's leftover even if I am the one ordering the dish.

You see, when I eat, I want the entire plate for myself, and I do not allow another man touching any bit of my food.

Once upon a time, Chef Winnie prepared a nice and delicious dish for me to savour. It's a really nice dish with so many flavours in it, with so many ingredients in it (including my favourite salmon and maple syrup), and the serving is so big that it is meant to be eaten in a span of decades so I only ate a little bit every day since the day Chef Winnie delivered the dish to my table.

Sometimes when I saw an ingredient that I didn't like, I would still try to swallow or add some other spice to make it taste better. I just didn't want to throw out the parts of the ingredients that I didn't like. Well, in Chinese tradtion, one shall not waste food.

Sometimes the food tasted good, and sometimes the food tasted bad, but I didn't mind because the good tastes beat the bad tastes, or because I could always find some other spices to neutralize the bad tastes.

One day I suddenly realized that Chef Winnie put something that I could not stand in my plate. I didn't worry about that either. I just moved it to the side of the dish, thinking that I would come back to this part later when my tasting buds would probably change. I just picked that parts that I enjoyed first. However, I started to find more and more ingredients that I could never swallow in the dish since then.

Then some time ago, when I hadn't touched the dish for several days and had left the dish unprotected somewhere out of my control, some uninvited starving gipsy man barged in and took a bite with his dirty hands of my treasured food, leaving as he withdrew his hands traces of dead skin in the plate. When I went back to my table, that hooligan was still sitting at my seat, occupying my table, drooling my leftover. Only now it had become HIS leftover.

I shot my angry eyes at Chef Winnie, demanding an explanation. He just shrugged, and said nothing, as if the restaurant did not guarantee that the customer could finish his own dish entirely without interruptions, as if thieves and robbers were allowed into the restaurant, and as if all I could do was to find ways to share the dish (if I want to and if the hooligan want to, too), or win the dish back, or order another one.

Another man's leftover? With his saliva and god-knows-what gooey stuff mixed in?

I don't know if the almighty Chef Winnie is able to purge it or clone another one for me... I don't know... I don't know... I don't know... and I still don't know...

I want a dish composed of:
Around My Age/ Gym Build(Athletic, if the ingredient is lacking)/ Bachelor's Degree or Above/ English/ Chinese/ Good Profession/ Simple Life/ NO smoking / Movie/ Music/ Romantic/ Traveling/ Hiking/ Beach/ HOT/ Faithful/ Honest/...etc.

Maybe I am a dish for someone too. Who will order me? Now that I am partially eaten.

...

Beautiful Words

Will you want a man that needs to sleep with other men to finally realize where he belongs?

When you have every right to get angry at him, accusing him of some mistakes that he has made, then he simply says, "Why are you angry at me? I am going to tell you something nice that you want to hear so you are not supposed to be angry at me for the bad things that I've done. If you get angry at me, then I will not tell you the good things you want to hear."

Is there a logic here?

Can beautiful words make up for a bad deed?

Better Man - Robbie Wiliams

Send someone to love me
I need to rest in arms
Keep me safe from harm
In pouring rain

Give me endless summer
Lord I fear the cold
Feel I'm getting old
Before my time

As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I'm doing all I can
To be a better man

Go easy on my conscience
'Cause it's not my fault
I know I've been taught
To take the blame

Rest assured my angels
Will catch my tears
Walk me out of here
I'm in pain

As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I'm doing all I can
To be a better man

Once you've found that lover
You're homeward bound
Love is all around
Love is all around

I know some have fallen
On stony ground
But Love is all around

Body Combat + Anger

Well... when you punch or kick, you can imagine you are hitting the source of your anger. It can help you calm down and less angry afterwards. Now I've got one more reason to go to body combat classes in addition to the hot instructor.

WTF

DJ to JEFF, "We can have sex, dates, and trips abroad, but we are not boyfriends."

DJ to me, "We are not boyfriends so I cannot have sex, dates, or trips abroad with you."

WTF does this mean? Are there any lies involved here?

History of Love

The literary part of me (kind of embarrassing to say it) decided to buy a book that's more like a literature than a popular fiction this evening. Since I've finished Dead Simple, I wanted to get another book for me to read when I take public transportations.

Walking around Eslite, I saw several books that seemed to be good to read and then I came across The History of Love.

This book is not recent. It was published like 2 or 3 years ago, and the Chinese translation came out probably several months ago, I don't remember.

I looked at the back cover and read 2 pages of the book at Eslite. I liked the description and the beginning of the story so I decided to give it a try and bought it immediately.

I am goint to read it and finish it.

Magic Trick

When you perform a magic trick, you need a secret-hiding handsome man who is also good at acting, and an innocent loving man who is ready to believe.

Voila, whatever the handsome man, fully aware of the development of the performance, tells the innocent man at the first moement will magically vanish at the next, and turn into something completely different in nature and purpose, just like a harmless sweet lady being turned into a ferocious, life-threateing tiger.

Avril Lavigne in concert

Who would give me free tickets to Avril Lavigne's concert in September?

I know from a friend that the tickets to Travis's concert could be given for free by sleeping with J...someone...
hm...probably not Avril Lavigne's though... well who knows.

Anyway, I am well capable of buying my own ticket to any concert, and pay my own trip to other countries. My honeymoon trip... mmm... will definitely take place in a more developed country or a tropical beach resort.

Liar VS Seer

DJ had sex with JEFF few weeks ago.
DJ went out with JEFF for dinners and for concerts.
DJ told me he and JEFF were only only friends.

DJ told me two weeks ago he was going to Kuala Lumpur and Burma ALONE and BY HIMSELF.
Last night DJ told me he "hired a car" to pick him up at the airport.

Today DJ told me he went to Kuala Lumpur and Burma with JEFF, for two weeks, and last night JEFF's friend(s) went to the airport to pick them up.
God knows what happened in this trip.

Oh... the almighty and omnicient CL! You have always been right. The "I miss you" messages must have been sent when the sender has done something that makes himself guilty. Let the ignorant and innocent people follow your guidance when they are lost in believing in what others lie about.

I didn't think DJ would lie to me. Now you've convinced me.

Call Me When You're Sober - Evanescence

Don't cry to me. If you loved me,
You would be here with me.
You want me. Come find me.
Make up your mind.

...

Hippopotamus in the house

Last night, and on lots of the nights for the past few weeks, the hippopotamus living upstairs would tramp around her room, as if trying to announce her own existence. Worst of all, she likes to practice walking very late at night and early in the morning.

You see, she usually comes back to life as I go back to my place for a night's rest. At around 12 or 1 o'clock in the morning, she will finally finish her late night tap dance (she definitely trips on herself all the time, because the sound of furniture dragged across the floor is often heard, too), and then go out. That's the only time I can finally fall asleep without being waken up again and again by her heavy footsteps.

Then at around 5 or 6 o'clock in the morning, as the door to her bedroom opens, her clumsy tap dance repertoire begins once again. Well, if I had fallen asleep by 11:00 at night, I wouldn't mind being waken up by this thumping alarm clock at 6 in the morning. Since I didn't have enough sleep, this early morning dance practice is another torture for me.

I really feel like telling the hippopotamus that the tenant before her was almost like invisible to me because I couldn't even tell if she was home or not; however, I can always tell if the hippo is home or not upon opening the door. That stinky smell accompanied by heavy footsteps... well...let's assume that she went out for work in the middle of the night at some "special" pubs. What kind of clients would request services from a hippo? She can't even walk gracefully without making any noise!

Frustration + Dogs

I saw N, V, and L in the gym today. L waved his hand at me as he kept going upstairs so I waved back at him. He waved at me again when I was leaving too. V only sneaked up besides me and said that he would not disturb my working out. I don't like N so I didn't gesture or say anything to him and neither did he to me.

As I walked out of the gym, I saw R wandering around outside ahead of me. Well... I didn't know if I should go talk to him or not so I decided not to. Then I suddenly felt like going to Eslite to see if Js was there, and he was not there tonight. I went back to my place finally, without having a chat with anybody tonight except the accupuncture doctor when I went to get accupuncture for my lower back earlier this evening.

**
Dogs are nice animals, but I am afraid of them. I don't know if they will bite me or not.

Sometimes I will see a dog on the street trying to hump another dog that it meets for the first time. If this dog rejects, then the dog will probably go find another one. As long as it can hump a dog or get humped, it doesn't matter what the other dog is. Such a poor animal, without the ability of discrimination.

Without some tight control, there will be bastards everywhere on the streets.

New Haircut

Thanks to a friend networking website, I got the msn of a gay hairdresser. He seems like a nice man and has over 8-year of hairdressing experience so I decided to go to the hair salon where he works and let him cut my hair. All I asked for my hair was: make the sides and the back very short, and make the center on the top a little longer. I left the rest to the hairdresser.

When I put on my glasses after over 1 hour of cutting (the longest time I've ever spent on a haircut), I was a little surprised. I've never had such a bold hair style before. The sides are super short, forming two straight lines to the top while the hair on the top is all spiky and standing up, with the hair wax that the haidresser put on.

I kind of feel that it is too bold for me, but anyway, I've always had conservative hairstyle for years. Why not try something new?

It is also the most expensive haircut I've ever had.

Body Combat + Power

Today I went to my first body combat class at California Fitness.

Another person from a friend networking website was supposed to meet me there and show me around the classroom (as if I were a newbie in CF), but he didn't show up.

Seeing that the classroom was not crowded at all on a Sunday morning, I decided to venture into the classroom. I picked the farthest end of the classroom at the back row, with very little room to move around. Suddenly the lady in front of me asked me to move to her front where there was more room but more exposed to other people. I just listented to her because I thought I really needed more space.

The class went smoothly because the moves were not as difficult as those I had seen in other aerobics class, like Latin ones. I had a good time in class. My spirit was lifted when I was among those people that were so adrenalized-pumped. I chose this particular class on a Sunday because the class instructor was hot and young. His classese on the weekdays were always packed and at times inconvenient for me. He is quite popular among a certain crowd of CF members.

As I was leaving the gym, I saw the instructor walking out of the gym with his bf, a very muscular man probably in his late 30's. The instructor is about 25 years old and is still in university, according to my informant, but the bf is probably almost 40. I've heard about similar couples lately, and I am wondering how they become a couple. Maybe a lot of young men like to date older men?

I don't know how the power structure works in a couple with huge age gap. Maybe the one having more money is giving orders, or maybe the one having youther flesh is making decisions.

The balance of power is a tricky thing. It has to be balanced, but at an angle of various degrees. Equality may not work because decisions probably cannot be made when both sides share the same level of power.

As for myself, I don't even have a scale to stand on. There is no one to share a scale with me, so there is no struggle or balance of power for me to worry about or to strive for.

Seeing other couples really makes me sad.

Free Hugs

I am not really interested in getting free hugs from strangers. When I saw those activists giving free hugs, I always walked as far away as possible.

Well, there is one kind that I especially don't like even more.

For example, a guy (coded: KFC man) asked me to meet him for lunch on a working day, but I still said yes since I thought it was nice to have lunch with someone. When I arrived at the meeting point in front of a KFC, he was not there. I had to wait like 10 minutes before he showed up. Then he told me that he had already eaten, and that it was okay if I still wanted to eat ( of course I wanted to eat. That's why I went there). As I was chewing the barely satisfying grilled chicken burger at KFC, I suddenly received a phone message. I didn't want to check it because I thought it was probably some sort of junk mail. After a few minutes, KFC man asked me if I had received a message. "I think so. Why?" I said.
"Check it now," KFC man insisted.
I took out my phone and found that the text read, "do you want to have a hug in the bathroom?"
Before I even put down my phone back into my pocket, I shook my head saying, "No."
"Really?" KFC man asked.
"Really."
I finished my burger very quickly and on our way downstairs, he asked me again if I wanted to use the bathroom. "No, definitely not," I said.

***
I saw a fruity-looking guy quite often during my lunch hours outside my office. I accidentally ran into his profile on the Internet so I left a message with him and then sort of made friends with him .

There is another guy working out in Ximen that I saw once in a while. I ran into his online profile too. He gave me his msn after I simply left a message on his page saying I had seen him in the gym. So I put him on my msn list. (Coded: N)

Vs told me when we accidentally met in the restaurant close to my work that one of his friends is N. Vs said N checked me out very often in the gym and stuff.

Well, as my current goal is to make some friends, I messaged N on MSN one night just to say hi and to let him know that Vs mentioned about him to me. Since I was going to bed very soon, I didn't want to chat that much. I told him I was going to bed.
"?" he wrote.
"I am going to bed. Good night," I typed again.
"Do you want to have a hug?" N said.
"NO," I said resolutely and logged off immediately.

Now I don't feel like using the gym at Ximen because both of these two men work out in that gym. I also don't feel like meeting new people now. I don't like it when people ask me that question, either euphemized or not. Maybe I should introduce them to each other so that they can hug each other all they want since they both live in the same area.

Embarrassing encounter

After Lk left me an internet message telling me he's seen me in the gym occasionally, I started to actually see this person in the gym occasionally. It's like he'd never existed until he announced his entry into the world on my message board.

Well, the first time I spotted him in the gym was when I was only wrapped in a towel and so was he. To top it all, his locker was right below mine. It was an uncomfortable encounter, but I was doing the thing I was really good at: acting absent-minded and indifferent.

So I quickly dressed myself and went downstairs because I wanted to use the Internet to write something to Cl. As I was waiting for the computer. Lk came downstairs. I struggled a little but and then finally pointed my finger at him, saying, "aren't you the guy on that website?" He nodded while talking on his cell phone, and gesturing me to wait a minute. I got a computer to use around the same time so I just browsed through the Internet. After Lk finished his phone call, he just told me he had to leave immediately for a dinner with his friends......

Anyway, after that strange encounter, I occasionally ran into this guy that checked me out in the gym.

Very funny.

My aspirations...

I am going to make some English-speaking gay friends, so that when we go out together, it's easy for them and you to talk to each other.
I am going to make friends that can get me free tickets to all kinds of good shows.
I am going to make friends that can introduce me to lots of other friends.
I am going to make friends that will invite me to their dinner parties.
I am going to make friends that have a nice apartment in the East District in Taipei.
I am going to make friends that can turn me into all of the above.
I am going to make myself irresistible to you .......

Chinese Lover's Day

So the couple separated by the Jade Emperor's order shall meet on this special day once every year...

Well...
Since we are going to spend another 70 years or more together, with another 70 Chinese Lover's Days and 70 Valentine's Days to celebrate, it's fine to miss one.

A year is composed of 364 days with only 2 lover's days.
Why put such great emphasis on these two days? Because the circumstance tells us to do so.

2 Lover's Days, 2 Birthdays, 1 anniversary for this, and 1 anniversary for that...

Story ONE (Genesis)

"They can only see each other once a year," A said, while pedaling the boat on the lake in Xindian.
"You are telling me that the day they see each other every year is different? Then how do they know which day to meet?" asked D.
"Well if you look at the lunar calendar, they actually see each other on exactly the same day every year, the 7th day of the 7th month," A tried to take the steer, but D wouldn't let go of it.
"And the birds - I don't know how to call them in English - will gather and make a bridge for them to cross the Milky Way, since in Chinese we call that belt of shining stars the 'Silver River.' It's just like crossing a bridge on a river."

"Interesting story," D slowed down the pedaling speed, bringing the boat almost to a halt.
"So on that day people will decorate this suspension bridge with lights and everything, and lovers will cross the bridge to celebrate the day and show their love to each other."
"Really? That will be really beautiful. You Chinese people are romantic."

The boat was simply floating on water. Neither of them was pedaling. This December night was cold, unlike the hot summer day when the love bridge is built for lovers. The occupants of the boat were already imagining how beautiful the bridge would be on such day, and how romantic it would be to walk across the bridge together.

Slowly and subtly, the temperature was rising on the boat. The night was silent because no one was talking.

Beliefs

After reading Secret, I am writing down my beliefs to attract all the positive energy.

We are in love and will always be in love.
We are happy with each other.
We are faithful to each other.
We are a perfect couple.
We are overcoming all the difficulties in love, and the final challenge is almost over.

I am super hot.
I am happy.
I am making new and good friends.
I am doing a good job.
I have good sleep every day.
I will move to a nice apartment of my own very soon.
I am regaining the stability of my life.

Dividing Criteria

Besides the emotional attachment, there has to be something that divides a lover/partner and a person you have sex with. There muse be things you only do and share with your lover/partner. That is the privilege of being your lover/partner.

Make him significant. Make him proud and honored to be granted with this privilege.

Well, sex can be a privilege, too.

what you are

Whoever you have sex with before you meet me makes what you are.

Whoever else you have sex with after you meet me makes what you are not.

Since it's easy to suppress the desire to see me, it must be a lot easier to suppress the desire to sleep with other men.