Destiny

Sometimes you would wish that you had known someone at an earlier or a later time, but the truth is, if you had met such person at a time more desirable to you, probably neither of you would have been able to achieve what you have or don't have right at this moment. Probably you wouldn't have wanted to know each other; probably you would have become foes, instead of friends.

It's destiny.

A

Worry

"Worry" is actually an unconstructive emotion. It can only plunge you into deep abyss of despair and panic, without even slightly changing the status quo.

What will happen will eventually happen; what won't happen will never happen.

A

Friendliness

I was sort of paranoid and silly since my freshman year in university regarding the process of friend making. I would stop hanging out with someone if there was one thing I couldn't tolerate about this person. Gradually I had fewer and fewer friends. This situation was worsened after graduation as I had less opportunity to meet new people except for my new colleagues.

There have been some people with whom I might have been friendly but I decided not to due to certain gossips and rumors about these people. Even though those gossips and rumors may be true and may serve as some sort of guidelines in dealing with these people, I shouldn't have reached my conclusion about them without actually knowing these people.

Maybe a person that is not faithful in a relationship can be a friend. Maybe a person that sleeps with different people every day can be a friend. Maybe a person that has a job that I don't like can be a friend. Maybe a person that is too conceited can be a friend. Maybe a person that has a crush on your lover can be a friend. I have been limiting myself as to whom I could be friendly with, and I ended up being on friendly terms with almost nobody.

Friends with different point of views are important and inspiring. They can offer me a different perspective on things and help me see what I don't see. Friends with the same point of views are reassuring and easy to get along. These two types of friends are both necessary, especially the ones with a different point of view.

Although one can be defined by the people he hangs out with, one can also NOT be influenced by the people he hangs out with. Regardless, it is always a merit to spread the good influence, and also learn something positive from friends.

No man is an island. A healthy mentality is established with the help of positive human interactions. I should be more acceptive. I should hold less prejudice against people I don't really know. I should try to be friendly.

You can only conclude if you like a person or not after knowing one or two things about this person, but there's usually something more about a person that you don't know. Maybe the next stranger you come across will have the answers to some of your questions.

A

April Blues

The temperature dropped to as low as 13 degrees Celsius on April first, much colder than February, in which I could even put on my hottest summer shirt on a 30-degree-Celsius day. I thought April is all about life and rebirth and warmth and anything jolly. It was warmer in March, too. Apparently April this year didn't give me a good impression.

Neither did April last year. The devilish April of 2008 shredded my heart into pieces, using one of those shredders you could get from Costco. After shredding my heart, as if that's the main purpose of such machine's existence, it was broken as well. The shredder was thus left against the orange wall, among other objects that nobody wanted to keep, never to be seen again, forgotten.

Has April become a sad month? I surely hope not.

Maybe it gets cold now only because it will make you feel much warmer when the summer comes. And it will surely get warmer in a few days.

A

why do people leave ?

People come into your life for a reason. Do they leave for a reason, too?

I experienced my first episode of someone's departure when I was in kindergarten. I think I was too young to feel anything that I am feeling now.

I always thought people that I know and care about would always stay in my life forever, or maybe until the day I no long live. Some of the aging symptoms have been creeping onto my parents lately. DJ has decided that he wanted to move away from Taiwan next year.

The familiarity that I once had is changing. I am scared. It's not that I am scared of changing. I am perfectly alright now that I moved to my new place in the east district, and I am used to the new daily/weekly routines. It's different from before. But no matter what, all the people I care about are still reachable in a short time.

I just feel sad. Why do people, even the ones that care about you, leave your life?

A

Seasons of LOVE

I truly hope I can understand more types of love. I just don't know why it seems so difficult for me whereas some people can handle the non-romance type of love so at ease. I don't know why I want the romance-type of love so much as to ignore/abandon other types.

A

He is just not that into you / 他其實沒那麼喜歡你

「他其實沒那麼喜歡你」的劇情由好幾段故事組合而成，每段故事間有互動和關聯，我覺得非常好看，只是角色關係有點複雜，有時候會覺得怎麼某個人跟某個人會互相認識，所以應該看小說會比較清楚吧。

片中有段劇情我非常喜歡，看了會讓人心有慼慼焉。當你喜歡一個人，你會不停查看電話、電子信箱、網路留言、以及任何可能聯絡你的方式，以知道對方是否留言給你，深怕一不小心就錯過了留言。因此，你有可能會每分鐘看一次手機，每五分鐘看一次電子信箱，每小時看一次網路留言，把自己搞得心神不寧。有留言就樂不可支，沒留言就垂頭喪氣...

還有一段故事我非常喜歡，大概就是在說如果一個人在結婚後（或有了伴侶後），才找到真正的真命天子，這時該怎麼抉擇？如果新認識的人才有辦法讓你有戀愛的感覺，如果新認識的人擁有你真正想要的生活方式？你有勇氣把舊人換掉嗎？ 這段故事有點…… 但是…… （以下與電影無關）難道時間先後就可以決定一切嗎？先佔到位置的先贏？還是真正有資格的人才贏呢？但是要怎麼證明自己更有資格呢？ （咦...怎麼會講到這裡呢....）

關於演員：
沒想到演出「鐵男躲避球」的那位遜咖 Justin Long 居然會演出這種浪漫片，跟他在我心中的形象有點不搭軋。
Bradley Cooper 還是一樣帥氣迷人啊，比他在「沒問題先生」中還要帥。
Jennifer 跟 Ben 配得真好，他們那段故事最後超級感人的。
Drew Barrymore 的角色戲份不多，但是都很有趣，她的 gay 朋友們都滿風趣的。

台灣雅虎的預告片有段影片告訴你這部電影不會出現的十種愛情電影橋段，非常精彩，值得一看。

A

重返納尼亞 / Narnia Revisited

浮現在冰牆後的白女巫，依舊冷豔凌人。只要獻上我的血，就能把她釋放出來，她也願意助我一臂之力，實現我的心願，以作為交換的籌碼。但是值得嗎？

衣櫥裡的世界是虛幻的，衣櫥外的世界是真實的，不知白女巫的魔法，到了衣櫥外的世界是否能持續，是否能為我呼風喚雨，讓我左右逢源。我要的不只是土耳其軟糖，我也沒有國家需要收復，我要的是一顆心，一顆樸素但強壯的心，一顆沈默但瀟灑的心，一顆讓我魂牽夢縈的心。

白女巫或許會認為我是傻瓜吧，但是冷若冰霜的她，或許永遠不會懂，或許永遠只能孤獨地在冰封世界裡，獨裁統治她的王國，抑或只能寂寞地存在於某個空間中，等待她的忠實僕人帶來人類之血，予以釋放。

或許我也在等人來釋放我，或許吧。

White Witch, appearing behind the ice wall, still looked stunningly cold and beautiful. With my blood, I could set her free. In exchange, she offered to help me realize my wishes. But is it worthwhile?

It’s a fantasy world inside the wardrobe. Outside it’s reality. I don’t know if White Witch’s magic would remain magical outside of the wardrobe. Would it still be powerful? Would it make everything as I wish it to be? What I want, though, is not simply some Turkish Delights. I don’t have a kingdom to claim back, either. What I want is a heart, simple yet strong, silent yet dashingly gorgeous, a heart that I yearn in every dream and every wish.

Perhaps White Witch would think I am silly, but she, as cold as ice, would probably never understand. She would probably live forever in an ice-capped world all by her lonely self, ruling her kingdom in dictatorship. Or she would probably exist in a certain space all alone, waiting for her loyal servants to set her free with human blood.

Perhaps I am also waiting for someone to set me free. Perhaps.

A

I hid this post

這篇抱怨文就這麼隱藏起來了。
還是盡量不要留這種負面情緒的文章好了。

....

Happy Birthday

I don't think my sister comes here, but I still want to say a happy birthday to her on my blog.

I truly hope that in the future she won't have to spend her own birthdays, not a single one, by herself besides her computer...


**

A Jerk Will Never Get Hurt.

But a good man get hurts easily, especially a focused one.

When you say something horrible to a jerk, or when you decide to walk away from a jerk, he will just go find someone else, someone just as interchangeable as you, to spend time with, to do whatever they want together, without treating your criticisms or comments seriously. After some time, when the jerk is tired of the replacement, or several of other replacements, he may try contacting you again. You, on the other hand, have decided to ignore(or pretend to forget?) the bad memories that the jerk have brought you. You decide to talk to him again.

Without any surprise, the jerk hurts you again.. OUCH... he doesn't just hurt you, but even comes up with an explanation of why he hurts you again, a reason that only the jerks of the Jerkland can truly understand, and that hurts the good man even more.

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The Punishment

The schizophrenic lier is treated with amicability.

I am schizophrenic, too, but I am left by myself, indulging in the two ends of the continuum, to love and to hate. I am forced to swim back and forth between these two more and more polarized ends. After a few months of training, I can finish one lap within a few seconds. My mind is torn from trying to swim towards both ends at the same time.

I am punished.

People should treat the ones they don't like as lousily as possible.

*

Happiness of Waiting

I like the feeling of having somebody wait for me at home when I finish my work and workout every day, or the feeling of waiting at home for him.

I like going to his workplace a few minutes before he finishes his work and waiting outside so that we can go have dinner or do something together for the evening. I like leaving my work, to see him standing outside the door, presenting to me his plan for the evening.

I like waking up early in the morning, and then sit on the bed, looking at him and waiting for him to wake up. I like to open my eyes in the morning to see him, already awake, giving me a big smile as bidding a good morning to me.

I like waiting for him to finish what he has to do in the evening so that we can go to bed together.

I like waiting with him at a good restaurant. I like waiting with him at the ticketing window for any good movie/show we are going to enjoy. I like waiting with him for the bus/MRT/train. I like waiting with him for the sun to rise, and for the night to fall.

It is the happiness of waiting, and I am waiting for happiness.

Loneliness

Working out among many others in the gym, I felt lonely.

Checking out hot guys can't seem to cheer me up either, not even the hot BC instructor that happened to be there as a substitute instructor for the night class.

I am tired of checking out hot guys. There is no point of doing that. Being checked out by any of the guys I find hot may probably make me skip a heartbeat, but so what? None of this can make me feel happy, secure, and calm.

My emotions get stirred up even more when I see the boyfriend of any of the hot guys shows up. The laughters they share, the tears they dry for the other, the feeling of belonging deep rooted in their heart, the trust and the pride in each other and so on are something I long for.

The boyfriend of the hot instructor was standing outside of the classroom, surely smiling at and feeling proud of the man doing the moves on the platform in the front of a crowded classroom.

It was late so I went back to my place. I lay down on the bed, trying really hard to fall asleep.

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Dream

Maybe I would wake up, finding myself on my bed in university dorm on December 3, 2002.

The chat the night beforehand was nice, and I would be wondering if I should meet that man.

Or maybe I didn't even chat with anybody the night beforehand. All was in my dream.

I would still need to get through my third and fourth years in university.

I would still need to prepare for the exam for graduate schools. Or maybe I would go study abroad.

I would still remain single for these years.

Or I would meet that man, and still be single now. I hate being single!

--

Contagion

J: I took Gotham's white knight, and brought him down to our level. It wasn't hard. Y'see, madness, as you know, is like gravity. All it takes is a little...push
--
I just started to wonder, "Is personality contagious? Are negative characteristics/habits contagious, too?"

I don't know, but I truly hope that I only get the good characteristics/habits from others, and shun the bad ones away. I also hope that I am capable enough to spread my good ones to others, and keep the bad ones to myself, or, even better, get rid of them.

For now, the best way for me is to stay away from those with personalities/habits that I want to stay away with.
--
Two-Face: You thought we could be decent men in an indecent time. But you were wrong.

--

Privilege

What privileges does love give to one person?

What are the special things that you only do with/to this person that you love, and that you will never do with/to others?

There must some parts of you that you only reveal to your lover, physically and mentally, that no one else, even the best of the best friends, would be able to get close to.

Once you grant such privilege to a person, it's difficult to recall such privilege. It's not like there is something wrong with the product that the manufacturer has to recall everything from the retailers. No, there is nothing wrong with such love/privilege. It's just the person that grants it may be mind-changing.

When the manufacturer recalls something that a customer buys (or even has opened and used), the manufacturer will have to offer compensations of equal value, or the customer can sue the manufacturer, which may be covered by an insurance plan.

Can love be insured, too?
The exclusivity of the privilege should be maintained.

Introspection

Usually what we look for in a lover is, in terms of attitude towards a relationship, a standard far more restricting than what's applying on ourselves.

For example, if you are a man that, say, has one night stands, you will probably want someone that does not have one night stands. If you go to bars very often, you will want someone that does not go to bars. You know what kind of fun can be had if your potential lover also does the same thing so you feel insecure if the potential lover share the same sort of habits(in terms of relationship) with you.

Then you only allow yourself to have that sort of fun, telling yourself you know what yourself is doing and will definitely not cross the line, while at the same time suspecting the potential lover's intentions of doing exactly the same thing as you.

Well, it's much more fair to demand a lover with standars that you impose on yourself. Or even better, be less demanding towards your lover than on yourself. However, it's difficult to be less demanding towards others than yourself. It's already good enough if you can use the same standards for both of you.

What if you are a man that does NOT sleep around, and only wants a lifetime partner? What should you expect of a potential lover? Will treating him with the same standards be demanding? Not at all.

YAHOO's Campaign "In Search of an Ex"

Why is Yahoo doing such a cruel thing?

In whose arms is he lying now?
On whose bed is he sleeping now?
Are you looking for him?
Or is he looking for you?

Do you ever wander around the city, only to find yourself standing in front of his place? Or the place both of you used to belong to?
Do you expect to see that familiar figure standing at the familiar street corner?
Do you know how many turns you have to make, how many stairs you have to climb, and how many keys you have to use to enter that place of lost love?

Every image is like a frame of a movie, being played over and over and over again.

Maybe Yahoo is trying to inspire people, that an ex, if found, can be your new lover...

Adultery

Adultery is a criminal crime in Taiwan. It compromises the harmony of a happily married couple. The one being cheated can sue the third person for adultery.

I just came across a piece of news this morning. The husband of a married heterosexual couple had sex several times with another man. The wife thus brought a lawsuit against the third person.

The judge, however, ruled in favor of the third person.

Based on the fact the same sex marriage is not recognized by the laws in Taiwan, the judge presumes that the husband's sexual acts with the man do not pose any threats to the marriage of the couple in question. The judge also cites that the crime of adultery is listed in the Criminal Code only for the purpose of protecting the marriage life of a heterosexual couple.

This highlights the absurdity of the illegality of same sex marriage, as well as what some gay men with a taste for married husbands can get away with.